Ain't no companion like a blue-eyed merle

Tweet Tweet

Mon, 25 Aug 2008 22:21:35 -0700

I finally joined the online revolution and set up a twitter account. I have exactly one (1) friend who twitters on a regular basis. This should be exciting for him. @sogrady, I'm talking to YOU.

For the rest of my ~~reader~~ readers, I've added the feed to the right side of the blog so you can keep up with such fascinating real-time tidbits as, "My living room smells like a dead animal. VOM." which it does, and which is killing me. In other news, I'm watching Intervention and having a Coke Zero. I'll keep you posted!

Toastmaster

Mon, 25 Aug 2008 20:13:20 -0700

I am not one of those people who ever has luck in a thrift store. You know the one, the one that has 50 cute things in their apartment and cute jewelry and cute shoes and is all, "Oh these Eames chairs? I got them for like, I don't know, five bucks each at the Salvation Army. HA! It was actually the same day I found this Hermes scarf on the dollar rack!" I may be friends with that person but yeah, that's not me. I'm more the type who spends $30 on a useless clock. So imagine my surprise (which, honestly, is the most oft-repeated expression on this blog to the point that I'm going to add a ™ to each use of it from HERE ON OUT) when I nabbed this chrome Cuisinart toaster for a mere NINE BONES at the Goodwill on Sunday.

And, according to www.internet.com, it's worth a blistering $49.95 on the Cuisinart site (and a totally charred $64.99 on the softer side of suck site).

Sooooo...here's the rub. Although I bought it for the Shangri-la I'm dreaming of in Wyoming (Wyomgri-la), I kind of decided to keep it here after (a) experiencing the deliciousness of a test-Eggo last night and (b) seeing how much better it fit into my decor than my current one - which is as gigantic as it is dirty as it is white. But MATT REJECTED THE IDEA. Why?? What??? In his words, "White appliances suck." So now, shiny chrome wondertoasts must be shipped seven hours away to spend its life perfectly browning bread in a beauteous wonderland while I remain unhappily jamming spelt loaves into its oversized plastic brotherfucker. And, judging from the look of things, rubbing my hands in motor oil before I do it. This, my friends, is a bitter bargain. A bitter bargain, indeed.

Five-Word Movie Review Monday GOES HIGH-TECH

Mon, 25 Aug 2008 15:46:53 -0700

Alien

(PS I made this at BigHugeLabs.com)

Tunes Update

Sun, 24 Aug 2008 18:25:54 -0700

I've spent the whole weekend alternating between Crazy Train (above) and Shove It on the ole 'pod. It's been quite a few days.

Ah, Ain't It So Though?

Sun, 24 Aug 2008 14:30:23 -0700

From Regardez Moi, a superbezvouz blog I just found.

Whee!

Sat, 23 Aug 2008 17:07:33 -0700

Matt and I are going to Santa Fe in early October to celebrate our *one*year*anniversary*! (We, too, are shocked.) Though I was just thinking how I really didn't have any excuse to go back to Santa Fe anytime soon, the idea was planted when a co-worker told me about a weekend trip there and bloomed when my friend said that October is the best time to visit. There was talk of warm days, cold nights, fireplaces, the smell of burning piñon and the crisp light of fall.

Then I remembered there's a Trader Joe's and I was done for.

Hint to Self: Read More Carefully

Sat, 23 Aug 2008 11:27:26 -0700

I just nabbed the clock, above, on ebay for $15 plus $15 shipping. It made me happy because it's the exact clock I stared at for five years at Mt. Greylock Regional High. (Yes, I said five. It was a combo jr. high and high school and, yes, due to my somewhat nomadic tendencies, I went to a different school in the ninth grade. I assume the other school had clocks as well but can't summon them to mind quite the way I can this lovely.)

No bigs, pricewise, but UNFORTCH I read the description wrong. See, where it says this:

Q: Since most clocks in the classrooms are slave clock hardwired into a master clock in the main office. Has this clock been converted to a standalone clock with a standard plug?
A: Hi, No, it has not been converted.

I read as:

(Slave clock?)

And apparently this picture still didn't clue me in to the fact I was buying the shell of a clock:

My first thought, beyond the "UGH!" I mean, was that I could just set the clock to 2:25, which is when the final bell rang, and happily live with it as an objet. A tribute to freedom, if you will. But no. Even with thoughts of a $30 tribute to freedom, I was still unsatisfied. So I researched how to fix it myself and install new hardware and figure I could do that as well, though it will certainly be an onerous task fraught with annoying interludes in Hobby Lobby.

So that's my story. Similar to much of my academic career, I made an oopsie by not paying enough attention. And now I must scramble to fix it on the back-end.

Make a Fan, Build an Advocate

Fri, 22 Aug 2008 11:47:48 -0700

If only all brands were so easy to support...

via Denver PR Blog.

Animal Rescue

Fri, 22 Aug 2008 11:40:24 -0700

This is what Matt said to me on the phone a little while ago: "I'm gonna finish up here, go home and get the cat or squirrel or whatever that's stuck in the wall out and then meet you for lunch." I asked him if he suspected it was actually a baby humpback whale that had mistaken his wall for its mother, but he didn't seem to think that would be the case.

UPDATE: It's a cat! And it's still in there! : 0
UPDATE PART TWO: It was two cats! (Well...kittens.) And they're now currently resting comfortably at the home of his vet tech friend who has promised to bring them to the shelter in the morning. He said they were a. wicked cute and b. beasts I would've wanted. Color me gladd I didn't go over there this afternoon to "lend a hand" (i.e., stand around until the work was done and then cuddle me some kitty).
UPDATE PART THREE: It was three cats!

My Socks Make Me Famous

Thu, 21 Aug 2008 16:16:53 -0700

Lookee loo, I got the above featured on Jezebel in their Past Fashions: Sports section. It is sorrowful that there is no Olympic event for tee-ball. 'cause I was a natural.

Oooh Now, This is Exciting

Wed, 20 Aug 2008 09:06:38 -0700

Because of my strange shape (aka gigantically tall, narrow-waisted, huge-boobied and with the rib cage of a sperm whale), I have a somewhat hard time finding fitted dresses. If they have any sort of waist, they're out, as it hits me about two inches below the bottom of my bust line. Also out? Any sort that button up the front as it would pretty much take fabric the size of the AIDS quilt to combat the one-two punch of my breasts and aforementioned rib span. So I'm stuck with stretchy jersey options which can look good (here, here [all right, you really can't see that one but hey look! It's me and Jenny!] and here), but can also look relatively vavoomy and are certainly too cocktaily to wear to the office. Nevertheless, I keep trying. For I am a soldier. Hence my recent purchase of a $130 lovely from Banana Republic:

And, zomg, it fits! Well, kind of. It fits in the important parts, though the waist and, weirdly, the very top are kind of bulgy. So, I'm going to do what I've never done (out of a dedication to being profoundly stubborn and also strangely frugal) and bring the bitch to a tailor. A TAILOR! I know. So extravagant. But considering I talked BR into giving me a 15-percent discount after I bought it (they really have *the best* customer service), I think I can take the money saved and actually procure something that conforms to my "never seen on any woman ever...no really, not ever" dimensions like a glove. Which I also can't buy because my fingers are about as long as cartoon octopus tentacles. Oh the travails!

Keeping Me Up at Night

Tue, 19 Aug 2008 14:44:45 -0700

Why do all the articles and stories and news about Gossip Girl's Blake Lively (above) ALWAYS fail to mention that her brother is Jason Lively (below) AKA the bereted Rusty (Whooostay) from National Lampoon's European Vacation? How can that NOT be the hook?

Special Bonus: Rusty the European Tour

And Now a Word From Our Guest Editor: Captain Spicer

Tue, 19 Aug 2008 12:31:24 -0700

Following, Jenny's two-part review of a Neil Diamond concert:

Part One
M and I went to a Neil Diamond concert last week. (equal parts ridiculous, awesome, and cult-like) I recommend if you never. Anyway, Neil also talks to himself, typically over soft backing music. And when he is talking to himself he says things like "Hey, Diamond." He's really beyond human.

Part Two
Neil D is in pretty good shape for an old guy. Definitely looks less disgusting than Billy (Fat Walrus) Joel and less surgically altered than Barry (Cat Woman) Manilow. Not sure I'd go so far as to ogle his ass, MARIE, but he does get around the stage pretty quickly (and not just on his lighted motorized platform). Also, when he slow danced with his back up singer during a You Don't Bring Me Flowers interlude, I truly believed they were in love.

I Wish I'd Known About This Card Back in the Day

Tue, 19 Aug 2008 12:01:56 -0700

It would've been perfect when my friend's husband left her when she was 8 1/2 months pregnant. Yeah, you read that right.

Come to think of it, it's still applicable.

$3 at Ripe Cards

Manga? Faced!

Mon, 18 Aug 2008 16:39:33 -0700

Like everyone else apparently, I faced my manga over at Face Your Manga.com and here's what I came up with for an avatar:

Not bad, and it basically gets my XXL "husky section" head size just right, but it's still not nearly as good as my Wii one, where I'm wearing a black shirt and red pants and have my face basically covered by giant black sunglasses. Kind of like I do every day. (To clarify, that's every day I get dressed in something other than a muumuu.) My mom's Wii icon, though? Has to be seen to be believed. DEAD RINGER (and I don't just say that because she had an appointment with one of those freaky gyno twins that she didn't go to because he UP AND KILLED HIMSELF. True story.).