August 25, 2008
Tweet Tweet
I finally joined the online revolution and set up a twitter account. I have exactly one (1) friend who twitters on a regular basis. This should be exciting for him. @sogrady, I'm talking to YOU.
For the rest of my reader readers, I've added the feed to the right side of the blog so you can keep up with such fascinating real-time tidbits as, "My living room smells like a dead animal. VOM." which it does, and which is killing me. In other news, I'm watching Intervention and having a Coke Zero. I'll keep you posted!
Posted by Bree at 10:21 PM | Comments (3)
August 17, 2008
Sure to Please All Comers
I got some comment spam today that impressed me with its activity-based inclusivity:
gay circle jerk teenie porn naturism gallery teenage simpsons hentai gagging blowjobs hot teen girls whipping girls dog lover dog--lover man nudes gallery
Don't know about you but a night spent watching the Simpsons, loving my dog and gagging on naturism (not to mention the hentai!) sounds just about perfect.
Posted by Bree at 01:05 PM | Comments (0)
June 25, 2008
Voice Recognition
I subscribe to a free service called CallWave that saves you the minutes charges of calling to your voicemail by setting up your voicemail through your phone number. And since you're obvs in your network, it's a free call. You can also listen to and archive the messages online. The other bonuses of CallWave, if you want to call them that, is that they email and text you a written version of the message. This leads to some hilarious interpretations, but generally you can get the jist of the message. Like, take, the below. A message I just got from my Dad. Relevant portions bolded:
"..how are you we're fine beautiful day I went back to the government tell the just well after pulling over the whole, wine rack on top of me last night mountain broke a bottle of flowers and got a few bruises, but apparently survive and I was telling the drummer colleges why this unusual bruise on my leg and she says, how old are you so listen. I discovered that I wrist amount has 2 versions of our town or my town whatever is you know that great song she wrote, fantastic song, on you to and one of them is was sitting around with Mary Black and name is Lou Harrison someone's living room and doing it and the other is her just singing it and the sound quality on her just individual thing is so wonderful plus they print the words out and as you know as you probably know, the worse or absolutely incredible, so epp I'm it's just like there's so many, great things don't you too and you just kind of discover, you know by following a trail and I hadn't. I've got an Irish demand CD, but it doesn't - I don't think have our town on it and somewhat if you would do me a favor, if you don't know that's they'll listen to it so we can talk about it and if you do go listen to it you've big old earlier, OK now I'm going to go over and play with my cats so I have to prioritize and get off the phone with humans, love you oh here's real good news in case Matt hadn't told you Donnie was accepted it sent Johnson Annapolis so is he said now I don't have to apply that 12 or 15 schools make sure I get in one you know I can apply to the you know 5 or so that I'm really interested in and relax you know, so that was great news, love you so much really like."
So, you know...the gist.
Posted by Bree at 05:58 PM | Comments (1)
June 13, 2008
Cell Phone Brain Cancer Ratings
Or something. I skimmed it. But I'm at a 1.21...so that's, um...refreshing.
Posted by Bree at 10:34 AM | Comments (0)
May 27, 2008
AAA Goes BDSM
BIG NEWS: The Annoyance Allowance is the fourth result in a Google search for "submission girlfriend." And the Flickr picture associated with that post is the fifth. Suffice it, we are already making money hand over breakaway handcuff.
Posted by Bree at 06:04 PM | Comments (0)
April 03, 2008
More Accidental Videos!!
Kirsten and Alli in Colorado
Even MORE of Kirsten at the bar (she's my muse)
Posted by Bree at 02:15 PM | Comments (0)
March 30, 2008
Long, Arduous, Ultimately Pointless
The above title is how I refer to the fact I'm trying to dump loads of old pictures off of my desktop G5 and into my Flickr account so that I can free up enough memory to a. install Leopard and b. start using my 80 gig ipod ("free" from AmEx Rewards Points!) with the G5, which is where all my music is. Whew. 'pparently, whatever operating system I have working on her now (Tandy) isn't schmance enough to network with the latest generation of ipods. Whatever, touch-holes. So, short entry shorter: if you see a lot of rando shit on my Flickr account, that's what I'm up to. And if you don't, it's because I've given up the project and am casting my net desperately around for a better solution. FYI, you know.
Posted by Bree at 05:42 PM | Comments (0)
March 03, 2008
Google Reader Be Gone!
As phase one in my Internet addiction therapy (don't be fooled - I'm not in Internet addiction therapy. Nor is there a phase two.), I DELETED ALL OF MY GOOGLE READER FEEDS yesterday. The constant pressure to read every last published piece that came up on my monitor was unhappily reminiscent of the early aughts - back when I had a dial-up modem...and subscriptions to 15 magazines and newspapers.
So, yes. I am free. But I'm also kind of bored. And out of coffee. Tragedy!!
Posted by Bree at 10:21 AM | Comments (4)
February 13, 2008
www.What'stheProblem.com?
Does anyone else sense anything...erm, confusing about this method of treatment for Internet addiction?
BRADFORD, PA – March 29, 2004 – The Center for Online Addiction announced today that it will offer a new online support for Internet addiction as part of its range of client services. The Center, a leading consultation firm for corporations and healthcare companies dealing with Internet abuse, has been offering individual email, chat room, and telephone counseling sessions since March of 1997. “Given the success of online counseling to deal with Internet addiction, an online support group seems the next most logical step,” says Young, director of the Center for Online Addiction.
I mean, aside from the fact that Internet addiction does not exist, no, no, no. [INSERT FINGERS INTO EARS, SHAKE HEAD TO AND FRO, YELL "I CAN'T HEAR YOU!" TAKE LAPTOP AND RUN.]
Posted by Bree at 04:18 PM | Comments (0)
February 01, 2008
Pictobrowser of "Where's Walter?"
Whee! Add any of your Flickr sets to your blog with this cool lil code - click "PictoBrowser" above to get started.
Posted by Bree at 11:47 AM | Comments (2)
January 23, 2008
Comments is Back, Bitchez!
Get up in that shit before the spam/fear of unpopularity makes me close her down again.
Do it.
Posted by Bree at 10:18 PM | Comments (6)
Behind the Tumbs
Why is it that TODAY there have been, like, 60 references to people's Tumblr pages in my Google Reader? WTF is Tumbir? I feel like Brenda Walsh in the first season of 90210 - TOTALLY OUT OF THE LOOP with regards to the cool folk. I'm going to comfort myself with this (except, obviously!, with a slightly edited chorus):
Note: I went to school in the second grade dressed as Boy George (with braids, roach clips, ribbons, fetching fedora - the whole works...and it wasn't Halloween. Rather, I think it was Tuesday. The best part? Cathy H*lland told me senior year that she was so totally pissed off at me because she thought I had gotten the upper hand in the second-grade-girl competition for Boy's love. Which I clearly had.
UPDATE: It is Tumblr, not Tumbir. As if I needed to tell you that.
Posted by Bree at 04:36 PM | Comments (0)
July 09, 2007
Apple = Crapple
Allow me to bitch and moan my sputum all o'er this joint for a min. Listen, I know that everyone loves Apple, but you know what - I'm on my FOURTH ipod and my THIRD computer and they've, pretty much without exception, all sucked ass.
I just got a call that my hard drive on my laptop is scraped.
Over.
Donezo.
They couldn't get anything off of it.
And guess what? This is the SECOND time I've had an Apple hard drive just fall over and give up the fight on me. (The Imac back on 69th Street caught the dengue apparently even though I used it only for the most cursory dial-up web browsing EVER.) Suhweet. Luckily, most of my stuff is backed up on both my desktop (which has been in and out of the shop countless times) and my external hard drive, and the best of the rest is on my Gmail or put on Flickr or my web site but MAN, this chaps my hide.
Especially since I bet you 8 bazillion bucks I have some major problem getting it back on the wireless network here. [Insert ARGHHHHHH.] Curse you Mercury in retrograde! Curse you!
Posted by Bree at 01:17 PM | Comments (0)
July 02, 2007
Tech Report
I spent part of my day off today at the Apple store waiting to get the old girl serviced (she's got a sticky little button and no, I'm not going ANYWHERE with that one). Naturally, I took the time to play with the new iphone. You may have heard of it? Some sort of something jingamig. You got me.
Seeing as his is the only phone number I know, and 'cause he's patient with my random communications and spastic texting style, Matt was on the receiving end of my bungled messages. Example "Thsi kyboard sucks! - Brew"
Seriously. It kept autocorrecting my name into BREW. He thought it was very funny.
That thing is aggressive...you think you've x-ed out the autocorrect option it suggests and when you're focused on, I don't know, finding the "D" button, it sneaks it back in. For someone like me, who writes words like anys, obveez, natch, totes, and etcetera ad infinauseum (you may have noticed), that no can do. Leave ma steez alone, Steve Jobs!
Otherwise, I'd snap one up in a second 'cause I'm a whore for the flash as well as a whore for the glamour. Well...I mean if they were on some network other than AT&T. AT&T sucks the big ones. The big telecom ones. Don't play coy - you know exactly what I'm saying you sticky little button, you.
Excuse me now, I have to go dip my dog in an alcohol bath. It's roughly 90 degrees in my house and she's pretending to be in some sort of distress...whaaa?
Posted by Bree at 08:44 PM | Comments (0)
March 04, 2007
Callwave (of the Future)
Normally when I read Mr. O'Grady's musings on the latest technological developments, I have to remind myself that the maw of ignorance in my head re: modernity is nothing that can't be remedied with a few thousand man hours of study. Then I go buy a new skirt.
So, when he posted about Callwave a few days ago, I eyed it through the same glaze of knowledge-free skepticism as usual. "Sure seems complex," I thought and went on my way.
So imagine my (relative) delight to see a post over at Consumerist regarding Verizon's RIDICULOUS policy of charging users minutes to check our voicemail. Apparently, the geniusi are beta-testing a WAY longer computerized message - one that will chew up the minutes of every user every time they check their massages. I call bullshit. And so did one of the commenters...who recommended Callwave as a way around this suck-o service.
Wait a minnit...you mean Callwave could work for me?! The me who paid $60 in cell phone overages last month?! Ridonz.
I gritted my teeth and signed up last night. Click on Stephen's post up there for a good explo, but basically it's a free service that e-mails you your messages. You can still check them from your phone - you just have to dial your own number from it, which is a Verizon to Verizon call aka FREE. And, even for a Luddite like moi, the process was easy peasy. My first message came in to the Gmail and the phone this morning and it was all very pleasant.
FYI: Marie had 11 seconds worth of things to say. She's succinct, that girl.
So. Yes. Keep on sticking it to the man, etcetera.
Posted by Bree at 10:46 AM | Comments (0)
February 15, 2007
Oh and By the Way...
Anyone else notice Google forgot a lil something yesterday?
Googe indeed, babies. Googe indeed.
Posted by Bree at 02:22 PM | Comments (0)
February 12, 2007
Master Gates
Yikers, Rikers. Bad news for TSC and anyone else who ever wanted to sell their schtuff online. Apparently the genuii over at Microsoft are updating Internet Explorer to stop phishing scams in a way that's going to be crazy detrimental to small business. Get this: now, web sites buy certificates and padlock icons to show they're legit. But, in an effort to deter those pesky spam-hounds and their ability to get around this system, Microsoft will now show a site's credibility through colored address bars: red = shady, green = secure.
Problem being -> Gates and the rest of his cell mates will require young biznesses (less than three years old) to pay more for certification and not give it at all to many sole proprietorships and LLCs and other smallwigs.
Ew!
Microsoft!
You bastards!
Time to get me a pushcart and start hawking my wares the olde way. Anyone need a scissor sharpen? Or should I say shiv?
Posted by Bree at 10:17 AM | Comments (0)
February 06, 2007
Moving = Good for the Wallet
After reading this lil piece , I was more than ready to stand firm on the "Nope - I'm cancelling. Cancelling. Please cancel my account. Please. Mofo." stance, but gotta say - Comcast lured me back in! For a mere $2 more than I'm paying now, they're giving me a free install, free Starz and a FREE LAND LINE with FREE LOCAL AND LD. This is big-time for me, Mrs. Talky McTalkelrson, and means I'll be able to downgrade to a less expensive cell phone account.
WHEEEE!
They're even going to come install the *day* I move i.e. I'll only be away from my beloved interweb for mere minutes! Oh Comcast, even though you want me to send my bills to a mythical Greek woman nursed by a bear, I still (kind of) love you. And if any of you haters out there start giving me helpful advice about VOIP or SKYPE or that similar systems of ridonkulously complicated "Masters in Technology" phone service, me and Ma Bell are going to beat you both soundly and fervently with Marie's old hot pink Swatch phone. You have been warned.
Posted by Bree at 05:55 PM | Comments (0)
Comments!
I just found some in the junk section. Yes, apparently - even though all the masses (read: three) of comment-friendly folk out there have had their witty words APPROVED by yours truly in the past - my supersuck spam filter decided that these fine friends are just junk. I disagree. God don't make no junk. 'cept in my trunk. And I'm trying to get rid of that, cuz!
So their comments have been published, and I'm trying something new with enabling moderated comments through Typekey or something but natch - I lost my own Typekey account info so can't even comment on my own dengue-d blog. This'll be fixed when I get some more time later today.
But just for the record: padded push-up bras have CHANGED MY LIFE (thanks in ALL parts to Marie, "Your boobs aren't saggy - you're just wearing the wrong type of bra you nitwit." Kn*tw*ll - Iceland, 2005), I had no idea apple seeds had cyanide and HOLY.CRAP. I'm going to kick your ass, Matt. After generously giving you the hibachi which you now want to TOSS -you're gonna lay crap down on me re: TAKING MY COUCH TO COLORADO?! !!! Give me back those french bulldog socks I bought you at the rodeo. You don't deserrrrrve 'em. Oh and YES - ANP - I wants purloined photoshop as class starts tonight.
Posted by Bree at 08:08 AM | Comments (1)
February 05, 2007
Wordpress? Here I Come...Kind Of.
Two comments that managed to COME THROUGH on the e-mail today...
From Matt: For the record, I posted a comment about the air conditioner that never appeared on the site, and wrote and tried to post something about two months ago that never appeared on the site either, so maybe people were trying to comment etc. and it just didn't work.
From Anittah: So you didn't get my wry commentary re: WTF were you doing in SOUTH BEND INDIANA? Or the pontificating on the whoredom post?! Or the props on your thing about the one thing?!
--
Ghastly!
So appalled!
If I hadn't worked for LITS - nearly 12 hours today - I would be totally enraged. Instead, I am nearly catatonic and ready to pass out into my seltzer. The odds I'll ever get around to switching my blog from Movable Type to Wordpress come in somewhere above the odds I'll move to Pittsfield and work at the Fashion Bug Plus and somewhere below me actually, finally, doing my taxes without the sweet, succulent succor of a filing extension.
Posted by Bree at 10:32 PM | Comments (0)
February 03, 2007
It's a High-Test Life
Freaking out, as I am, about all I have to get done in the next several days, months, years, what have you - I decided to amp up the activity level to code PUCE and sign up for a several week-long class on Adobe Photoshop at The Rocky Mountain College of Art and Design.
Though it's a bit of a hike from the ole homestead, I was super impressed with the last class I took there (Intro to Interior Design) and loved the facilities and faculty. Naturally, I skipped the final two weeks - 'cause I...uh...felt like it - but I bet they'll still be nice to me.
Next step? Finding someone to give me the a pirated version of the latest Photoshop for Mac...Anittah? Matt? Dania? Holla.
Posted by Bree at 12:03 PM | Comments (1)
January 21, 2007
Star Tech
After a casual survey of the SweetNBittheads I've come to terms with the fact that only about three people know what the hell those Del.icio.us links are over on the right. And that's just because I expained it to two of them. And the third? He's the one who told me what it was.
So here's the deal - for those in the back - if you click on that link, it brings you to a page filled up with links to articles I've bookmarked. The links are in blue, and my commentary - when I've added it - is in black beneath. The articles are all "tagged" with various subjects, such as design, writing, brands, and so forth to help you more readily search for the stuff you want, if you would ever be so inclined. It's a very easy service to navigate, and one which I have found really handy as a way to save reference and resource articles somewhere other than my computer.
The reason why I'm pointing this out now is because I just stumbled across this article about advertising and branding which I know Annitah, Sherri and Mikey SmuckNamara would love to get their lil corporate paws on, and I fear that if I just delish it...they'll miss it.
Crux of the sitch? Stop being such a lazy bunch of technotards and get techie while the techie's good. And I mean that in only the most loving of fashions.
Next lesson: dissecting and analyzing the whole "Flickr" thing. Don't forget your TI-81s.
Posted by Bree at 06:33 PM | Comments (0)
January 07, 2007
Flavor Flav(icon)
Notice anything different about SweetNB?
No?
How 'bout now?
Now, do you see?
Do you see up on the top there, right next to the URL, where it has the little illustration of the star anise I like so much?
That there's called a "flavicon," and with the unestimable support of the fair web wizard of Greenpoint, this site is now what one might call officially flavi-conned.
And by one, I mean me.
No one else should call it that.
That would just be awkward.
Posted by Bree at 08:38 PM | Comments (0)
Braggadocio Fells Another
Yesterday, I posted a long entry about how excited I was to have (a) streamlined some of my sidebar and (b) fixed the ensuant code problems (with the help of a friendly web maestro) caused by yet another enthusiastically untutored foray into my template code.
"Oh but she spoketh too sooneth," the Greek chorus laments.
For yes, the very post mentioned above did its own part in messing up my site for most of the yester. Unable to really figure out why SweetNB (as the lovely Annitah has dubbed the ole gURL) was so intent on making me weep, I deleted the entry this morning, posted a test or two, and now everything seems to be on the "up and up."
Mysterious.
Yet seductive.
So, and in hoping this won't reactivate the hex, here's a quick little explanation of the newest feature to hit this swanky site: my Del.icio.us Links button over there to your right. As I peruse the web throughout the livelong, I will bookmark articles and so forth to Del.icio.us, which can be accessed by clicking that link, or by pointing your browser to http://del.icio.us/Briggles - whichever you prefer out of those that I profer. Theoretically, Del.icio.us is also supposed to post my daily bookmarks to SweetNB each evening, but that failed to happen last night - so who's really to say? I'll try to fix that, but judging from my lacka success above, I'm no Angelina Jolie in Hackers - although I too am known for the occasional full face-plant into a bucket of KY.
To celebrate this technological advancement, let's all celebrate another: the farting robot.
Posted by Bree at 03:10 PM | Comments (0)
December 28, 2006
Live Blogging
9:44 p.m. I am live blogging "Thank You For Smoking," a film starring Aaron Eckhart, Aaron Eckhart's enormous chin and the kid that takes a theoretically non-incesty tub with Nicole Kidman in Birth.
9:51 p.m. It's hard to see the keys in the dark. I would also like some chocolates and am kind of distracted by that. Otherwise, things are proceeding as one might expect.
9:52 p.m. Oh my God! It's that Nazi dude from Oz! Worth the price of admission which, come to think of it, is nothing. Hopefully, the anal rape will be kept to a minimum. Talk about AWKS.
9:57 p.m. Mom just popped in her first Nico-gum. The messaging is werrrrrking...WERRRRRRKING!!
10:18 p.m. Man, live blogging could be more entertaining. For me, I mean. I know you guys are all bated (talking breath, boys) and stuff.
10:24 p.m. BATED.
10:34 p.m. Speaking of, Sam Elliott makes me feel funny where my bathing suit covers. Maybe not in this role...but, yeah, generally, I love a grizzled ole cowpoke. Or at least Tinsel Town's version of one. Can't have tabacky stains on my smart new couch.
10:46 p.m. I would pay $4 for a glass of raspberry seltzer right now. Non-negotiable.
10:48 p.m. Still no anal rape.
10:54 p.m. I got my own seltzer (lime). Desperation spurs action; action spurs refreshment.
11:02 p.m. "The kids call it 'blive logging.' Well...they don't, actually. But they should." <-- What I would say if I talked during movies. Which I don't, actually. I do, however, blive log.
11:12 p.m. Five word review to come, but one word review would have to be: "Eh."
Posted by Bree at 07:42 PM | Comments (0)
December 14, 2006
Moving to Lappland
Newly initiated into the world of laptops as I be (my Christmas gift came last week in the form of a black Macbook basted in sleek and sauteed in RAM - nah nah!), I can't help but wonder: Is it unbearably dorky to bring my new BFF to a seminar I'm going to today? (NB: use of word "seminar" makes me feel especially productive.)
Pro: I type faster than I write, and will eventually transcribe all my notes onto it anyway.
Cons: I am not a dork. It is covered in moisturizer. I don't have a laptop bag. I am not a dork (she insisted).
I hate to always be Sophie-ing up my choice, but again - as it frequently does with me - the dilemma comes down to pride or practicality. Given that I oft err on the side of the former (read: leaning tower of tipsy Bree on stilletos), I may just throw caution to the wind and embrace my inner Jobs. (Weep!)
How about this for compromise: if I bring it today, OK. Exception, exemption, 'tevs. But if I'm ever spotted clickclacking away at a coffee shop, the populace at large has both my permission and my invitation to shoot on sight.
Posted by Bree at 09:48 AM | Comments (0)
December 01, 2006
Perils of This Modren World
I can't believe I'm catching italicized crap on a blog that's actually read by people that aren't a. employed in publishing and b. graduates of Mount Greylock Regional. My recourse shall be minimal, but might involve a logo design by Carl and some sort of calzone-based fundraiser (HJF - will you bring the Twinkies I left at your house? Or those ginger candies. Or the Newman's Own salt-n-pepper pretzels. Susie, will you bring the vodka? And J.Frox - of course - ham biscuits and wassail. Working together, we're gonna beat this thug!).
And oh, how de.lic.ious. it'll be.
Posted by Bree at 01:59 PM | Comments (0)
November 28, 2006
Dorkdom Level: Orange-Red
If it's lame to get excited when the object of your smitten-osity starts tagging your links on del.icio.us, then call me Tiny Tim 'cause I feel fermous! (No, not that Tiny Tim. Though, at this point, I would kill for the luster and length of his hair. Gah.)
UPDATE: Aforementioned object of smitten-osity texted me to say, "For the record, the level is so far red it's not even funny."
Oh these modern times.
Posted by Bree at 08:33 AM | Comments (0)
November 10, 2006
The Syphillis of Sysyphus
As I am trying to winnow my spare time down to +/- 45 seconds a day, I have recently given myself the Sisyphean STD of uploading ALL of my scanned in shots to Flickr. This way, my parents and brother can again have access to all the pictures I've stolen from them, (Merrrrrrrrry Christmas kids! Next up: I'll refill your gas tanks and restock the bar! Oh I kid. Here's a calendar.) and I can free up the remaining 1...um...ATOM of space I have left on the old G5 gurl.
Yes. I bought an external hard-drive and moved all my stuff onto it.
No, I haven't erased ANYTHING from my hard drive, even though yes, that was the whole point.
Now I just have it in two places. Gah. I'm like the digi-version of the Collyer brothers over here. Both of them.
Hot.
Posted by Bree at 07:37 AM | Comments (0)
November 09, 2006
Bling the Noize
(Follow my lead and take a shot of 24-karat steez over at the beautiful little site Absolut Bling.)
Posted by Bree at 08:40 PM | Comments (0)
October 18, 2006
Site for Sore Eyes
Flickr just got even sickr: check out Moo Minicards. For a mere 20 dubloons, Moo will print up 100 glossy calling cards with your favorite image from your Flickr account on one side and your detes on the other. Best part? You can get all the cards with the same image - or 100 different ones.
I've been pondering how to get cheap cards without a. an address or b. an official business name (details, schmetails), and this just solved my dilemma for the price of a pack of smokes in New York City. Still undecided if I should print "Tits Indeedy," "Semi-Accomplished Dilettante" or perhaps just "Aces" as my profession, but I suspect I'll figure it out.
Posted by Bree at 01:30 PM | Comments (0)
September 07, 2006
An Orgy of Organization
Getting an assignment book/calendar thing last year changed my life for the better. Though I've had about a million Filofaxes, notebooks, datebooks and even a Palm Pilot (a million, I say), this is the first time I've used something consistently. It has taken the stress of remembering every blessed thing happening in my life off of my mind...which is of incalculable benefit. Judging by the popularity of these things, this clearly is revelatory only to me. Color me a fan, color me impressed...just never color me badd.
Ever.
My delight in this "personal accountability" concept you people seem to talk so much about has only broadened with my discovery of the newfangled Google calendar. Minus the strange military time interface, I couldn't be more pleased. Well, I could. But that would probably involve hot cocoa. Or figs. Naturally, the calendar is available wherever you can get an Internet hook-up - meaning you can keep numbers, dates, etc. in there that you might need on the fly. Even if you forget your datebook!
TECHNOLOGY!
WHAT? WILL? NEXT?
This just may replace my previous system of e-mailing everything to my Gmail account and then just searching for "Matt address Eastchester" or "car Brooklyn" or "budget Vegas escort" on an as needed basis. I was ahead of my time, this much is true - but dem cats done caught up and passed me.
Google, I think I loove yoo.
More organization tips here, PS, thanks to Manhattan User's Guide.
Posted by Bree at 09:33 AM | Comments (0)
August 14, 2006
Recanting All Previous Negativity re: Apple, Genius Bar, Dreadlocks, Life
Unbelievable. The adorable and effervescent staff at the Cherry Creek Apple store fixed my computer. FOR FREE. I am in shock, and *so so so* happy that I didn't run out and drop ducats I don't have on a laptop I didn't need.
Wow. Wowwy Wow Pants. Egads. This experience sure did shine a big 1000-watt sun lamp on the way I deal with problems - and showed me the extreme limitations of the way I deal with problems. Instead of taking the time to figure out how bad my computer situation really was, I just got fed up, skipped the discovery process, assumed the worst and and went straight into solution mode. Solution being: ditch the computer and get a new one. And, if I hadn't gone to Argentina, I'd probably be typing this on a Sony Vaio. Oh thank goooooodness that's not how this played out. Crikeys. I'm larning, kids! I'm larning!
And you know what? This is such an odd coincidence, but Axl said something to me the other night when we were lying in bed that - coincidentally - sums up the whole situation. He was all, "Woman, take it slow. It'll work itself out fine. All we need is just a little patience." Sure, we've had our ups and downs and, yeah, that whole Hilfiger thing was pretty embarrassing, but I'm beginning to think this marriage is a keeper.
Posted by Bree at 11:49 AM | Comments (0)
August 09, 2006
Radio Silence
As of 1:30 MT, the little computer that couldn't is going in the shop. Updates, e-mails, etc. will be on hold as my ass hasn't seen the inside of a public library since the mid-80's...and I'm not starting now, people. You know what you can do with your fiche.
In the meantime, and for a mere 25 dubloons, I've become a PRO over on Flickr and have already uploaded masses of photos, so I invite you to entertain yourself in my absence visually rather than verbally.
Your humble servant,
O.G.*
*And if anyone gets that reference, you get the golddamned star for the whole week. YOU are the one I write for. Congrats and way to go.
Posted by Bree at 12:37 PM | Comments (2)
August 08, 2006
Oh the Troubles I've Seen
The computer guy can't fix it due to the fact that my Imac G5 apparently shares no parts with another. It even has special screws! Special screws! But, in the department of good news, he did think it was a minor problem and that I didn't necessarily need to rush out and drop bank on a new one, so - that's some relief. He also complimented me on my squid t-shirt. Then we hugged it out.
Alas. Despite my best efforts to not bring this computer on a road trip, it looks like I'll be saddling up to the Apple store's Genius Bar at Cherry Creek tomorrow.
"Uh...yes. I'll have a double-tall of inconvenience? You do serve that, right? Thanks - you can just leave the shaker."
Pass the doughnuts, Carnie. And for the love of Pete, put your pants back on.
Posted by Bree at 10:37 AM | Comments (0)
August 07, 2006
Half a Wormy Apple
While my computer problems may not be quite as bad as this guy's, I'm still psyched to announce a technician is coming to my crib tomorrow morning to "pimp my mac." Or something of the sort. Fingers crossed that spinning rims and black leather are part of the mix.
One thing's certain: the good man agreed with me that the fans were to blame for the whole, "I'm going to work for ten minutes and then won't work again for half an hour...nah nah...pffft!" attitude the old "ass-mac" has been pulling for...oh...six months or so. So at least my diagnostic skills were vindicated. Which will be of extremely small comfort when I write an extremely large sum on an extremely average check tomorrow.
Regardless. He also told me a bunch of G5's were recalled for similar fan issues. Memoirs of a Geisha innuendo aside, does anyone know anything about that? I googled it but didn't get far until the computer, sensing progress of some sort, went dark again. Anyway, it all seemed very urban legend-y, which doesn't give me the greatest confidence in the guy but as long as he doesn't show up with a big black hood and a hooked hand and ants burrowing in his beehive and photos of some hapless tourist's toothbrush stuck up his bum, I'm going to throw caution to the wind and let him fix my problems.
All of them.
ALL of them.
ALL.
So. Hopefully things will be resolved at some point this week. Or I'll have a new laptop. Either way, it seems certain that at some point in August my life will return to its former purpose and I will be able to wile away the dark and lonely hours regaling a global audience with tales that satisfy both a collective thirst for erudition and my own neverending narcissism.
Oh good times.
It ain't just a custard shack.
Posted by Bree at 07:41 PM | Comments (0)
June 08, 2006
This Picture is a Total Farce: Computing is a Sad Business and Humans Have Four Fingers
Oh why am I so cursed? My relatively new G5 has been "fading to black" after about 5-10 minutes of use these days.
Sweet.
Hence the paucity of posts and lackadasical e-mail responses. Well, that and the Giraffes/Screaming Eagles show/aftermath the other night - which was so incredibly awesome that I'm still mentally recuperating. Luckily, I've figured out how to call up Firefox on my cash register at work...oh technology. Ye so grand.
So, what with '06 being the year of spend, looks like I'm gonna be popping the cherry on a new machine sooner than later. Damn - that blowing on dice trick best work down Vegas-style, or else I'm gonna have to sell off my share of Nana's button collection to subsidize this glamorous lifestyle.
Oh wait...what? Mom...you're breaking up...Did you say it's already been sold?
And the money's been pocketed?
But...how...those buttons were MINE!
Posted by Bree at 08:15 AM | Comments (0)
May 11, 2006
MySpace, MyWaterloo
I realize this is probably against some unspoken rule that one mustn't post pictures of their psychotically creepy MySpace suitors, but something about this guy just begs to be publicized. He's the first person I've ever had to block from sending me e-mails because they just keep coming. And they're creepy!
OK. Calming down. And realizing that the repeated "Hi Bree. How R U?" e-mail may not mean he's standing on my porch with a hood and a pair of handcuffs, but ayyyyyyyyyyyyyy. Save me.
Best part? His tagline is "Hey ladies."
I'm on the next plane home.
UPDATE: OK, I just went back and looked at his profile...because I'm crazy...and realized that underneath that picture you see up there, he has written: "Here's me lookin at you."
That's it. I am totally getting a doberman. And a Japanese throwing star. And a Punjab. No compromises.
.
Posted by Bree at 03:09 PM | Comments (1)
May 08, 2006
Today in Spam: Meet the Euphimistic Optimists
For ease of prioritizing, the G-mail always shows the sender's name and the first sentence or two of their message. 
This is especially exciting when it comes to spam - you can taste from the forbidden canned spiced ham without going so far as to open any potentially damaging attachments.
Judging from the snippets found in my folder this afternoon, apparently word is out that I'm unhappy with the size of my penis, and would like to rectify the situation.
Or, at least, that's what I think these helpful friends are addressing, each in his own unique way...
From Kenneth: "It's time to cease the anxiety of the area of ur thing."
From Eddy: "It's time to stop the worry of the range of ur unit."
From Wilfredo: "It's time to terminate the misery of the dimension of ur unit."
Ur darned tooting, Ken, Eddy and Wil!
Oh and you too, Coach Cakes!
UPDATE: Pedro just weighed in with: "It's time to cease the anguish of the bigness of ur thing."
Agreed. ¡Viva la NAFTA!
Posted by Bree at 03:25 PM | Comments (0)
May 02, 2006
Linkin Park, I'll Show You Linkin Park
Rather than sit down and write about my *awesome* first day as a booze-slinging barista (one hint: it involved sipping on Fat Tire, three types of wine and four lattes), I've been hanging around like a bum - watching movies, reading and avoiding all responsibilites. It's to the point that I have nothing to eat for dinner, yet...am too underwhelmed to go to the store. Apparently six hours of work has had a ruinous effect on any personal - or culinary - achievement.
Sloth. It's the new Atkins.
The one thing I have accomplished on this second of May - besides showering, which was harder than expected given the nap that consumed me midway - was to make the title of each post a permanent link. Thusly, by clicking on it, it will bring you to a page devoted just to that post, giving you a URL which you can then cut and paste and show to all your friends. The colors are a little "bleh" right now, but face it - you're lucky I'm wearing pants.
Posted by Bree at 05:49 PM | Comments (0)
April 23, 2006
Outta Site (Updates)
Bear with me while I tackle the beast that is HTML formatting. I'm looking to make some minor changes and adjustments to the site, so it may be a bit touch and go, a bit trial and error, a bit catch as catch can. It also may include hints of law and order as well as a smattering of eggs and bacon. 
The latest issue is that danged Mozilla Firefox browser [a name which simply must be sung to the tune of "Killer Queen"...each and every time it's mentioned. No compromises. Mohhhhzilllla!] won't read my "About Me" link as a page - it just loads a bunch of code. Even after I bathed it in praise and powdered it with affection. Code loader! UPDATE: Rosetta mo betta. I cracked the code, and all is well in the land of HTML.
Guns blazing, I'm on top of this. You have my word. This site will only stew in mediocrity for a year, two tops. And, of course, I'm open to suggestions and am interested in any thoughts you might have as this process continues.
That's totally not true.
But feel free to e-mail them anyway.
The included is a pretty picture from the Smithsonian's annual photo contest. I can only hope it takes your mind off the trouble I go through to serve this community of forlorn wanderers and stunted intellects each and every day by reminding you of the long-past delights of an unfettered childhood.
Mohhhhzilllla!
Posted by Bree at 08:45 PM | Comments (0)
Color test
Red is the best color out there.
Violet ain't no slouch either.
Violet ain't no slouch either.
That's not violet...duh.
Posted by Bree at 05:19 PM | Comments (0)
April 19, 2006
Just Browsin'
I would like to take this moment to reaffirm my commitment to using Firefox instead of Safari as my browser.
There.
Silly me! As my computer has been agonizingly slow for the last several months (something about 2,000 songs and 2,000 pictures...wha?), I was minutes from dropping bank on an external drive. Nothing new here. Fear drives most of my retail activity and my 'puter luck rates up there with my car tire luck - sometimes, with a small sigh of resignation, they just eat it. Ask the folks at Tekserve.
"I'm sorry, but we're just going to have to erase your entire hard drive. There's no other option. That'll be $500. Can you step aside, please?
Ma'am...?
Can you hear me?
You're kind of freaking out..."
But Firefox - oh Firefox - you've opened my eyes! Man's alive, it wasn't the G5! It was SAFARI. Or at least the Tandy computer version I was running. Firefox is - hands down - the best thing that's happened to me since breakfast. Considering I had a Balance Bar for breakfast, that's pretty high praise. And though I really try hard not to hold grudges, fingers crossed someone is mauled by a stampeding gang of bloodthirsty meerkat sometime on its next trip to the wilds of Afrique. And by someone, I mean Safari. Clearly.
And speaking of all things incredibly Foxy...
I've been trying to track down Superman to see if he wouldn't mind flying around the world in reverse so that I'm back living on Willow Place, two blocks from Montero's - home of the SEVEN HOUR "happy day" - hangin' with the homeslices in celebration of the Fantastic Mr. this weekend.
But it's been surprisingly difficult trying to figure out the Daily Planet's e-mail extension.
This is made all the more bitter by the fact that my PARENTS might be going to the party. Oh woe.
Posted by Bree at 08:26 AM | Comments (0)
February 14, 2006
Let's Learn How to Wrap Text Around a Picture
Shall we?
THIS IS ALL A FUN TEST. COOKIES TASTE GOOD. THIS IS ALL A FUN TEST. COOKIES TASTE GOOD. THIS IS ALL A FUN TEST. COOKIES TASTE GOOD. THIS IS ALL A FUN TEST. COOKIES TASTE GOOD.THIS IS ALL A FUN TEST. COOKIES TASTE GOOD. THIS IS ALL A FUN TEST. COOKIES TASTE GOOD.THIS IS ALL A FUN TEST. COOKIES TASTE GOOD. THIS IS ALL A FUN TEST. COOKIES TASTE GOOD.THIS IS ALL A FUN TEST. COOKIES TASTE GOOD. THIS IS ALL A FUN TEST. COOKIES TASTE GOOD.THIS IS ALL A FUN TEST. COOKIES TASTE GOOD. THIS IS ALL A FUN TEST. COOKIES TASTE GOOD.
Posted by Bree at 12:37 PM | Comments (0)
December 08, 2005
Stirring the Turd
It is now time for me to practice my HTML formatting.
This dude knows how to party...and when I say party, I mean it like the verb.
OK, that didn't work.
The instructions are:
if you want the words 'daniel bloomberg' to be linked to my website (right?) you would not write 'daniel bloomberg' but rather 'daniel bloomberg'
So...let's see here.
When people say I'm hard to shop for, that's because they don't know me that well.
Oh just kidding.
You all do a great job. Especially you, Marie. God I love that quilted husband cover. It's poetry.
NB: I suck at HTML. And subtlety.
NB 2: Just kidding about that horse head pillow.
Posted by Bree at 08:45 PM | Comments (0)
December 05, 2005
WHATEVER HAPPENED TO ELAYNE BOOZLER?
God, I'm so glad I have a blog so everyone can be privy to these thoughts...let's give a special thanks to the two who made this bed:
text download test
text test
test test...oh just say it. test plus icicle! everyone was thinking it.
Posted by Bree at 09:57 PM | Comments (0)
Now That's What I call Intelligent Design, vol. 4
"But seriously," Phil said, "I really do have a pool in the back of my limo. Won't you take, take me home?"
Text! I wanna live forever!
Posted by Bree at 09:30 PM | Comments (0)
Ranks right up there with Shabba
If I posted more than one picture at a time? Apocalypse now? Apocalypse later? Apocalypse now & later? Apocalips? Apocelliptical trainer?
Posted by Bree at 09:19 PM | Comments (0)
December 04, 2005
fruit of my loom
They've done some really wonderful things with genitically modified foodstuffs, she countered.
Posted by Bree at 08:02 PM | Comments (0)
Toast
The text was so stimulating she had a hard time sitting still.
Posted by Bree at 07:36 PM | Comments (0)
Test
Posted by Bree at 07:27 PM | Comments (0)
October 16, 2005
Popping the cork
You don't love me.
You just love my bloggy style.
Posted by Bree at 11:40 AM | Comments (0)