Chillin' out, maxin', relaxin', all cool: Sweet and Bitter Archives

November 29, 2006

The Lament of the Comment (OR: The Llama of the Comma)

I am, slowly and with great caution, reenabling comments on this site. While this pretty much guarantees an inbox spam feast for the rest of known time, I do think that one of the primary functions of a blog is to invite discourse. By limiting S+B to just my own private rambles, I am treating it how I used to treat my cell phone: outgoing only. Which, some might argue, could be perceived as a frustrating and somewhat selfish method of communication on my part.

Not that I care too too much about how I am perceived, naturally, but I do want readers to feel that their opinions or wit or whatever is welcome, as it is. And though I realize my loyal best friends comment with great infrequency, I have met a few new people here who have been less than pleased with their exile into muteville. I am interested to see what they have to say once the drawbridge is lowered...or if they continue reading anonymously and reacting silently.

Alas. We shall all see if any of this bears fruit or if, indeed, I am again stuck with just the nuts.

Posted by Bree at 11:43 PM | Comments (1)

October 25, 2006

Three B's for Lil Bree

For the past several months, my life has been ruled by three B's: bidness, boys and blogging and not necessarily in that order. I suppose it's better than the three B's of the past: beer, beer nuts and backfat, but that's open to debate. Anys, as if it hasn't been apparent of late, I'm afraid the blogging has taken the back seat to the other two. (Rrrrah, boy bidness in the back seat! Break me offa piecea that kink!)

So while my online absence may be sad for those of you stuck in the office, desperately hitting your browser's refresh button, it's probably a good thing when one takes into account my role in the whole "a lubricated society functions only as a reflection - not a generator - of proletariat virtue" paradigm y'all are always espousing.

"'nuff with the espousing," Bree yelled. "Your rules steal my soul and sell it for crack rocks."

So, I'm going to try to write more.
And though I'm not quite as shiny as that fine rendering above (thank you Dermalogica oil control lotion), and I never wear bright red lipstick, I still feel comfortable confirming this solemn Quaker oath to you.

"Quaker Oath...dang girl - you still got it!"

Posted by Bree at 10:31 PM | Comments (0)

October 18, 2006

Technical Changes Afoot at Sweetandbitter.com

The days of broadcasting my narcissistic tendency towards overindulgence in all things enjoyable (e.g., green beans, east coast rap, booze) to anyone with an internet connection are fast coming to a close. The I-guru told me today it would be simple as pie to add password protection to the site.

This is how it'll work: I'll come up with a witty, charming password and e-mail it to everyone in my address book. Then, each time one of the chosen wants to log on, he or she will simply have to type it into a pop-up window or something equally non-challenging.

Feel free to pass the password on the lefthand side to your friends and associates. I'm just a little leery of former flames, future business associates and whatnot having unfettered access to the private ramblings of a private benjamin simply by googling my name. None of my bridges are burned, but some are more rickety than others. And when it comes to publicly proclaiming every last detail of my life, I'd like to keep the rickets to a minimum.

Posted by Bree at 12:51 PM | Comments (0)

October 17, 2006

It's a Mute Point; It's a Muff Point

Brace yourself, mutatos: I've turned off the commenting feature on this site. As much as I'll miss the occasional Russian diatribe from Мотя and the rest of my comrades, the amount of spam comments sent to my inbox has shifted from irksome to totally ridonkydicky.

If you have something that you absolutely must see in print, just send an e-mail and I'll publish it in full...along with pictures of you smoking drugs. Because, frankly, I've got the dirt on just about all y'all.
I'm talking to you, Mom.

Bonus points if you can work the word "muffpunch" into your comment.
Again, Mom - this is a direct instruction.

Posted by Bree at 09:33 AM | Comments (0)

September 16, 2006

Credit Czech; Name Nam

I just opened my first business credit card under Sweet and Bitter, LLC. That's the name I have registered with the Secretary of State, but - of course - now that the thrust of the business has evolved and become slightly less...thrustacular?...I may need to change it.

As far as this goes - I like the Sweet aspect. Hometowners know my family's place was once called "Sweet's Farm," which led to our first nursing home - Sweet Brook - which is still the name of my Mom's stables. Sentimentality; it's what I heart. But the "Bitter" thing...a little offputting I'd say, now that we're not talking about wine. But does that really matter? I mean, look at Otto Tootsie Plohound - (a shoe store in New York named after the owner's dogs) they don't seem to have suffered any ill effects. Or even Mxyxplyx - which no one, including me, has any idea how to spell. They're going gangbusters.

Then again, I was never that hyped on that name anyway, but I loved the Sweet thing, loved the Stones reference (it's a lyric from Sweet Virginia) and love the logo - and the man who done it. Clearly, I love to love. Now come gimme some sugar.

How about Sweets?
Or perhaps just K. Swevard? Like Mr. "I've been schucking on a Schnapple all day" Swierad, hey Susie? Where'd you get that sweater anyhow? J.L. Crews?! I wonder if he finished that Sam Walton book yet. Or if he got a new pair of pants.

OMG. This trip down 11th grade lane/yearbook entry is giving me wicked bliggles (blogging giggles). Especially the fact that during this class, Susie and I took a 12-pack of beer and 4 packs of smokes to write an unnamed senior's final paper (complete with typos) so he could graduate. An unnamed senior who's now on the Williamstown police force. HAHAHAHHHA! Power is mine.

OK - back to the point: I'm thinking something like desden - (? eh...you know, design denver?) or, hmm...Stash? (Is that too Sellecky?) Or...GOD I NEED HELP. Someone please e-mail me the perfect name. My old store name idea - Magpie - has been totally snaked by a place in Boston. I am at loose ends and I sadly feel that neither of my go-to DBAs - Knicholas Knack (get it? Knick knack? HAHHAAHHAH Kill Kme.) nor "The Lurkin Gherkin" will suffice.

But the Lurkin Gherkin would've had such COOL t-shirts...just picture a pickle, with a fedora, peering around a door...! Genius!

Posted by Bree at 12:24 PM | Comments (2)

September 14, 2006

Clickety Clackety on the Typerackety

A business plan is supposed to be about 20 pages long.
So far, mine's a robust 31.

And I've still got a LOT more to say.

[Sadly, Google Image turned up no useful illustrations for this post. Both my "keyboard barf" and "vomit keyboard" searches struck out. This stands in stark contrast to its homerun with "Fergie pee pants" earlier this morning. Ah well. Can't win 'em all. I can't believe how long this sports analogy has lasted. Will someone please hit me in the head with a wiffle ball bat?]

Back to my bullshit...

Posted by Bree at 12:40 PM | Comments (0)

September 06, 2006

Achieving, Accomplishing, Accessorizing, Cabbage: It's How I Do

Oh friends. I have just returned from a meeting. And though not quite as official as the meetings of yore - there was nary a black plastic tray of half-bagels and past-ripe fruit to be seen - it was a meeting all the same. A meeting at which I skipped the carbs in favor of a bounty of beneficial info re: shop ownin' in D-Town. I'm talking cornocopia, horn of plenty, giant ugly wicker ear filled with plastic root vegetables - what have you.

This metaphor has quickly gone asunder.

I blame the altitude.
And the propensity for people here to wear Crocs.
It's all quite unsettling.

Regardless, I will soldier on to bring you the news that I just got the TOTAL LOWDOWN ON EXACTLY WHAT I HAVE TO DO TO START A BUSINESS HERE. Including phone numbers for accountants, web designers, marketing people and designers, as well as addresses for state licensing offices and local merchandise markets...and other things! All this from my new favorite person on earth: a girl I just met who has her own cool little line of handbags and her own cool little shop in a cool little neighborhood.

My head is a-spinnin' with all this goodness.
Very exciting stuff.

I plan to celebrate with a celebration salad tonight.
What's so special about a celebration salad?
Red cabbage...! Duh!

Posted by Bree at 04:40 PM | Comments (0)

August 24, 2006

Major Development

Darlings.

Today marks a new day. Today I finally came out of a my haze of malaise-onaise and realized something. Something big.

I don't want to own and manage a bar.
I want to design a bar.
And then I want to design something else.

Whoa.

This is big, people. Or, as Mike would say, "yuge." I'm finally narrowing in on what makes me happy - on what my passion is - and holy crap! My passion is for design! Looking back, it seems so clear but MY GOD what a nervewracking process discovering this has been. In fact, every aspect of planning this business has made me kind of sick with anxiety and dread - except for one: what it would look like. My confidence in my design concept never faltered...ever. And today, I realized - and said outloud for the first time - that this entire past six months, every time I've pictured myself at the bar - I've pictured every aspect of how it looks, and me standing behind a counter - alone - with no customers - listening to music - reading the NY Post.

I kid no.

HOLY MOLY.

I feel the best I've felt in months.

Posted by Bree at 04:20 PM | Comments (0)

August 16, 2006

Work Shmerk; Knit Schmit

I have an important announcement. Today is D-day over at the Hassle Castle. My travels are finally through. Jake - my ridiculous summertime cohort - is navigating his Budget truck somewhere on the horizon. I have no more distractions, and no more excuses. It is time to get to work. [Musical cue: "Get to work gong"]

So! Here's the plan! I am going to spend the next six or so weeks (this may change, depending on how things go, but let's just say six for the kids in the back) working 40 hours per on Sweet and Bitter: the bar. This will be my full-time job. In essence, I need to spend some serious toil figuring out if I want to do it. I know that I can do it, I just don't know that I want to do it.

Certainly, a fair amount of this ambivalence - if not all - can be chalked up to the whole, "I have no idea how to start a business" theme. It is rather daunting. But, you know, I've done harder. Certainly. And judging from the people I've met who own their own places, I am definitely smart enough to pull it off. I think my ponytail is smart enough to pull it off.

Yet, in an analogy I've shared with many of you, it's as if I've been given a ball of yarn and knitting needles and told to make a sweater...I know the basic concepts of knitting and good God, I certainly own a lot of sweaters. But alas. This does not a knitter, nor a sweater, make. Unless it's a really crappy sweater. Or a sweater vest.

I have until October to figure out how to knit or - at least - to get a lot more comfortable with trying my hand at it anyway. That's the plan. And I swear that regardless of what I decide: I'll totally stop using the knitting analogy.

Posted by Bree at 08:22 AM | Comments (0)

June 04, 2006

Well Then!

Massholes Need Not Apply
Let the farce be with you, Colorado!

Libation-seekers with out-of-state IDs might not want to deposit themselves at the Bank Bar and Grill, 2239 East Colfax Avenue, on a Sunday night. Because while the Bank does offer $2 you-call-its to officially mark the end of the Sabbath, the deal is locals-only. In fact, signs on the walls advise patrons that the Bank "reserves the right to refuse service to anyone without a valid Colorado State ID."
What - no shirts, no hiking boots, no service?

"Many nights we get some rough people in here," notes Robbie Secrist, the bar's general manager. "And we've found that most of the time the people that come in and want to cause problems are from out of state. I honestly don't even know the reason why."

Could it be rowdy groups of Cornhuskers looking to get shucked? A bunch of sassy Kansans with something to prove? Ben and Jerry, in from Vermont and talking shit? Even in native-conscious Colorado, such a policy seems pretty provincial.

"Two summers ago, we had a lot of gang activity," Secrist says. "At that time, we had a Denver police officer on the door, and he suggested the policy; he explained that when there's a lot of gang activity, a lot of it often comes from out of state. So we tried it, and it really worked for us."

That trouble was an owner ago: Last year, the Bank became part of the mighty Pete Contos empire (think Pete's Kitchen, the Satire, Pete's Greek Town Cafe, etc., etc.). With the change in ownership, the $2 you-call-it Sunday special disappeared for a while -- but now it's back, and so is the locals-only policy. Still, while the always-sell-Colorado rule is a standing one, the Bank usually enforces it only on the $2-special night.

This past Sunday, the bar was packed to the gills with Colorado drink-swillers -- and there wasn't a transplant to be found in the mix. At least eight angry out-of-staters were turned away, Secrist reports. "A lot of it is really attitude when you come up to the door," he adds. "If you're cool and there's plenty of room inside, we'll probably let you in. It's unfortunate that we have to do something like this, but we just want everyone to have a fun, safe time."

Everyone from Colorado, that is.

Posted by Bree at 10:57 PM | Comments (0)

May 20, 2006

Saturday Update

LOOK! HERE! CLICK! HERE! I'm totally famous!

And I have a new car!!!

Times are good.
Times are real, real good.

Posted by Bree at 10:42 AM | Comments (0)

May 19, 2006

The Dark Side of Wine Tastings

Last night, Capuvino hosted a private wine tasting for University of Michigan alumni. One of the store's wine reps came in, served four different bottles and circulated among the tables for a few hours shooting the breeze about characteristics, serving temperatures, whites versus reds, what have you. When not busy in the dining room, this maestro of the grape did manage to find time to get drunk, break a few wine glasses, and hold onto my arm during a wickedwaytooclose conversation about Argentina. Bear in mind I was making a cappucino at the time.

More foam with your inappropriate touching, sir?

One of the best parts of all the irritating forework, however, was when he trotted out the old "hips/shoulders" wine bottle saw as a method of flirtation. According to both legend and this jackass, wines with a rounded top at the base of a long skinny neck have "shoulders" and, like a man, are bold and uncomplicated. In contrast, a pear-shaped bottle will hold wine with a more subtle and complicated approach. Just like the bicches.

Not only an interesting theory I look forward to testing, this line of reasoning also allowed the rep to utter my favorite phrase of the evening, "If wine is like men then it has two emotions: trying to get sex and having sex."

Ah. The old "having sex" emotion.
What a heartbreak she is.

So, buttercups, in addition to making a sweet $60 in tips (which I'm blowing tonight here avec the Dumb Friends League), I learned two lessons that will surely come into play...erm...hourly when Sweet and Bitter gets going. One: open bottles + flirtation + reps = special kickbacks. Two: it's easier to sweep up broken glasses than it is to clean them.

Shameless, perhaps, but I'm the one with the hips and the dishpan hands. He's the one with the "trying to get sex" emotion. And if that's not a classic pairing...

Posted by Bree at 07:35 AM | Comments (0)

May 10, 2006

In Wino Veritas

Seeing as I haven't devoted an entry to anything beyond slagging good friends or cutting and pasting from Orbitz e-mails for a bit, I think it's time to clue in the intelligentsia readerensia to what's been a-haps in the world of building the Sweet and Bitter bidness. You know - one of the reasons behind this blog?
Besides, I mean, Johnny Cake updates.

Naturally.

For the last several days, I've been working at the coffee shop/wine bar Capuvino, located a mere 10 minute drive from my house. This gig is multi-purposed: learn about the business from the "backside," figure out if I want to actually try to open one myself, meet some people, have some fun and make some scratch while I'm at it. So far, it's been a totally satisfying and enjoyable endeavor. Plus, I get to wear jeans. And Asics. And, unlike Edelman, it's actually OK that my undergarments are always showing. Ah. My kind of career.

Capuvino. Though it started as a "joe joint," the owner is really trying to promote the wine business and make it into more of an evening destination. Capuvino. That suits my stizz just fine as pouring a glass of wine is about the easiest job in the service industry and - as requested - I'll be working mainly nights. The one somewhat irritating thing going on is that they have recently added an extensive menu of salads, sandwiches and "apps!" to complement the varied and extensive wine list. All well and good, but these can be rather difficult to deal with. Each has many ingredients and steps, and as we don't sell enough yet to have anything fully prepped, they can be dreadfully time-consuming during a rush. The kitchen is also about the size of my old one on 69th Street (similarly, there isn't even a dishwasher: machine or man) so, it's a bit of a hassle. Much like Ray Davies' personal trainer, the owner is trying to work out the Kink(s). And hell. I'll be in Argentina soon enough.

Pass the Johnny Cakes and the Malbec and click on through...

At Capuvino, your loyal staff members also serve speciality (read: liquer) coffees, four beers on tap (Fat Tire, 90 Schilling, Skinny Dip and Sunshine Wheat) and concoct about a thousand irritating syrup-infused lattes. As in the, "I'll have the banana coconut cream, half decaf, blended latte with rice milk and virgin blood," kind of deal. Eye of newt is $0.75 extra but really adds a delightful nutty flavor.

As far as promotion goes, we run a happy hour every night from 4:30 to 7 wherein every glass of wine from an open bottle is $5. Capuvino. There are customer loyalty cards (buy ten, get one free) for both coffee and wine, and there also are several private functions each week. So far, I've worked an art opening (there were caftans involved, and that's all I have to say about that.) and a bridal shower (reconfirming my notion that any woman who makes a man accompany her to one of these must, indeed, be removed from this mortal coil). Bridal shower mom - who done brung her own doilies to the event - nonetheless followed our owner's instructions and dutifully tipped us each $20 for our exhaustive gouda slicing and wine glass scrubbing. I thought I deserved more for having to listen to a conversation about market research in the tampon category, but...you know me, the dutiful serf. It's all very upstairs/downstairs.

Well. Maybe. Truth be told, brown muslin washes me out, so that's not even on the bartering table.

Capuvino. Is that not the worst name in history?

Moving on. Here's a quick summation of ten things I've learned staring at the barista vista over my counter:

1. The average restaurant mark-up on a bottle of wine is 300 percent. (Makes that corking fee look pretty reasonable, no? Makes the fact I just used the word "corking" look pretty impressive, no?)
2. Wine glasses without a lip are more expensive/higher quality/easier to bust than those with one. Take it from me, "Bleedy N*ely."
3. Colorado Two Rivers Riesling...not so shabby!
4. No customer I've served knows the first thing about wine.
5. I pour beer like a champ. A CHAMP!
6. The best job is one wherein you get to taste all of the wine you want...whenever you want. You know, to be able to talk about it intelligently.
7. When in doubt, use the phrase "medium-bodied."
8. Giving away one (1) percodan can turn even the most surly co-worker into your forever ally and BFF.
9. Men love to crap in public places.
10. I need some new, longer tank-tops. (Ladies: Old Navy's got your backcrack on this one. Love 'em!)

I've also learned a lot of things I won't be doing at any business in my future, which is probably more valuable than all of the above (excepting #8, of course). These are a bit more exhaustive to go into but include not serving cold cheese, not making employees wear ratty-looking aprons, having a full liquor license and forbidding people from looking over the counter to see if I'm wearing heels.

No, I'm not wearing heels you jackass.
Get out of my store.

Signed, your ever-loving proprietess,
Capuvino

Posted by Bree at 08:04 AM | Comments (0)

May 01, 2006

Liking Things a Real Latte

Darlings. Today is the first day that I can finally realize my dream of wearing dungarees to my workplace - each and every day.

Your girl in liquors - and pink-footed pajamas - scored herself (relatively) gainful employment! Starting at 4 p.m. MT today, I will be manning the helm at the strangely named, but delighfully cozy, Capuvino - a coffee shop and wine bar in the "Bonnie Brae" district of Denver. Heretofore known as "Bonnie Bree." But you saw that coming, no? (Capubreeno? All right. But only if you insist.)

I am so thrilled. This is exactly the type of position I was looking for, and - what's more important - the business is privately owned by a motivated and intelligent local entrepreneur with a mind towards expansion. What an excellent way for me to familiarize myself with this industry...and this type of shop in particular. I won't even have to fight off the "alki-paws" sure to be traded in by the denizens of Kuki's House of Refinement. Not only do I like the woman who runs it quite a bit, but she likes me and recognizes that my skills in consumer marketing will be a boon...not a threat. How refreshing to work with someone who puts business growth ahead of personal competition. For $8 an hour, plus tips, no less.

In short, I am blown away and excited by this opportunity. As far as seeing the internal workings of a small service shop, this really couldn't be more perfect. My gast is, like, so totally flabberred I've almost even forgotten the heartbreaking pictures of David "pass the maple syrup" Bowie from last week.

Almost.

The one drawback? Ten bucks my creative coffee ground measurement techniques aren't quite up to par. The old "Eh! I'll just add another quarter-cup of grounds and see just how thick I can make this water!" technique perfected over years of lazy nonchalance just might not cut it among a more discerning crowd than...um...me. I guess we all have to grow up sometimes.

Posted by Bree at 07:16 AM | Comments (0)

April 27, 2006

Kuki and the Butts

My lead car pace down the e're twisting - yet really nicely paved - road towards squandering all of my savings throttled back a bit today. Yes, your girl in liquors had her first interview for a bartending position! Naturally, the job's already filled. But don't let me get ahead of myself here. There's a story - and oh, it will be told.

Yesterday began like any other day. After a petit-déjeuner of cereal, coffee and some online activity, my mouse was drawn towards the Craigslist.org. Lo! Could it be! A listing for a bartending spot wayyyyyyyy far away on the oft-mentioned and seldom-romanticized Colfax Avenue? No experience necessary? Well...helllllo, Coloradey!

After seconds of debate, and confirmation that the phone number had no six in it, I gathered up several percentage points of my gumption and called the proprietess, Kuki.

That's right: Kuki.

Sound it out. And then imagine addressing a potential employer by the name "Kuki." Thank God I am, like, totally mature. Lest you think our name-game stopped there, milady managed to pull out the old "Bree? Like the cheese?" chestnut that elicits my wrath unlike any other. But this wasn't just a relative, or a date or a clergyman that I could unleash my fury upon - this was a possible employer! So, I maturely dug a shiv into my thigh and the seething hiss, "Kuki...like the mental disorder?" withered in my throat. Your girl in liquors - and restraint - choked out a wan chuckle and said, "Yep. Just like the cheese."

Hahhaa oh.

We then set a date for me to come in today at noon to talk about...you know...things.
Like cheese.
And other things.

The drive down to the bar, located about 20 minutes - and several hundred WIC checks - west of where I live, was alarmingly portentous. I should've known that hearing Locomotive Breath from beginning to end on a beautiful day was a sign. Silly me. So entranced by the flute I was, I didn't even consider the omens all around.

Continuing on my merry way past downtown, past Coors Field, past the highway, I had to stifle some laughs once I realized the suuuuper-shady neighborhood I found myself in might just be my new place of employ. Boarded-up buildings, chained liquor store cum pharmacies, cavalier driving styles and not a Starbucks in sight...a bit of a stretch from 43rd and Broadway. Though, come to think of it, the people were shaped the same.

And by "shaped," I mean rounded. Seems fried food is popular throughout this great land.

Ah.

Anyway, yes. I pulled up to the establishment, parked and sauntered in through a dark doorway to find...a bar. A nice bar, kind of long in the tooth, smoky but clean, wood-paneled, and with more than a few tables of moustachioed "day-laborer drunks" (Kuki's words; I would never dream to characterize someone such. I'm mature. I would use the term "alcoholics." Or "Baby Daddys.")

I found Kuki behind the bar. A sixty-year old in pink knit and a blonde mullet, she handed me an application and said, "I just want your name and social and any bartending school - the rest, forget about it."

Naturally, I wrote "Cheese."

When I was done with the exhaustive process, we adjourned to the back pool room where her first question was if I smoked. I said, "No."

Thus began a forty-five minute discussion about the upcoming smoking ban in Colorado. As of July 1, most bars and restaurants here will be enjoyed without the vile weed. Also, smokers will not be able to congregate within 15 feet of the establishment's door, so those at bars in crowded areas, like LoDo, will be made to walk two or three blocks into residential areas to enjoy their tobacco products.

In Kuki's eyes, this encroachment on our civil liberties is tantamount to Nazism. I kid not at all. She is applying to be considered a tobacco retailer, thus loopholing herself out of the ban, but thinks that if she doesn't get it - her 19-year old business will be dead in six months.

"Pretty sobering stuff," I offered. (No takers.)

Mullet aside, she was a with-it chick with some interesting - albeit highly, erm, inflammatory - takes on the ban, and how it will lead to - among other things - more wife-beating, more guns and more prisons. Also, more peeing on trees because, well, you know guys - they'll pee anywhere. The leaps in logic were fast and flawed, but it was an invaluable eye-opener into the industry's understandable state of panic.

During this talk, she let me know she had already started another girl yesterday curses!, but would call me in a week or two if this new employee couldn't "handle the crowd." And oh, what a crowd. All men. All day-laborers. All alcoholics. All regulars. Not particularly threatening, as a group, but would definitely put me through my paces. She charges $2.30 a well drink, $2.50 a bottle and $3.25 a draft - and she said most of them cash their paychecks at the bar, and tips are low because pockets are empty.

She also said that sometimes they chip in, get a hotel room and continue partying. Ten bucks I'm invited.

That said, I would totally take this job. This woman knows her way around her business. She's honest, she's straight-forward and she's tough. Just like I like my mulletted grannies!

Naturally, my drycleaning bills would ratchet, but if ever there was a blue-collar joint to earn my stripes - this would be it. Besides, I think the dress code would be, um, rather casual.

One further point of note, Kuki told me to step-to if I want a bar job, as there'll be massive lay-offs starting July 1.

Through the shuffling madness, I am still driving.

Posted by Bree at 01:09 PM | Comments (0)

April 11, 2006

Resolve: Not Just a Carpet Cleaner

I've been organizing my old papers and going through a bunch of stuff, and I stumbled across some notes from motivational classes I took at Edelman. Ironically, rather than motivate me to do better at work - the classes helped convince me that I wasn't at the right place. It's interesting to look back at what I wrote, because these realizations were of paramount importance in making this enormous decision I've made.

It's good to keep these things fresh in the mind. And, it makes me happy to read over them because it reminds me of all the positive changes I've made...and all the ones I have in the works.

Resolutions:

Be good to me.
Remember to stand up for myself.
Love myself first.
Be honest.
Be more thoughtful.
Dare.
Read more.
Devote more time to cultural things I'm interested in.
Relieve stress in better ways.
GO OUT LESS!
Don't spend so much so frivolously.
Draft budget.
Take better control of spending.
More sleep.
Keep up the good work.
Make time for me. This is important - I am important.
Feed brain.

What I most want for myself at work is...

To be valued
To make a real contribution
To learn
To do well
To be successful
To enjoy what I do; to have it not be this difference between work (unhappy) and free time (happy)

Why?
Because it's the key to a fulfilled life.
Because I deserve it.
Because it's too important not to strive for.
Because I want to enjoy my life.

***

Though things are very up in the air right now, one thing is for certain: I'm enjoying my life again. I'm also sleeping a lot more.
And I'm eating a lot more pancakes.
[Insert emoticon.]

Posted by Bree at 03:09 PM | Comments (0)

OMG, QOHTMLDE Strikes Again!

HTML bows before me! I just added a "Links" sub-section in the sidebar. Why? 'cause I rock it all nerd-programmer like. That's why.

Of course, I'm not sure if I actually want to add links because then they can track back to my site and angrily demand I remove all of the stolen and unattributed content that makes up this blog.

Eeks.

What would Jesus do?

Posted by Bree at 10:05 AM | Comments (0)

April 10, 2006

Flickin' Awesome

As you'll see, the Queen of HTML, Denver Edition, (QOHTMLDE for short), added a Flickr photo stream to the site (over on the right - scroll down - there you go). With this little tool of technology, I can forever enrapture the assorted plebians with a steady diet of pointless snapshots of myself in strange little hats, and other fetching accessories. You heard me. Forever. Enrapture.

Just click on any of the photos in the box, and then click where it says "Sweetly, Bitterly's photo stream" and you're golden like Charlie Bucket.

Adios Snapfish! You've been cold DUMPED. Indeed, on Flickr, you can even order your own prints, blow-ups and coffee mugs of these shots. That'll be of major help in the construction of your Bree shrine.
Shrine on, you crazy diamonds!

Posted by Bree at 10:04 AM | Comments (0)

February 21, 2006

Score!

Though I have decided to hold off on any further business development stuff until after the move, I did spend some time today with a counselor from the Service Corps of Retired Executives (SCORE) to talk about next steps. SCORE is an SBA agency that provides free counseling/advice/xeroxed pamphlets/etc. for business start-ups and, unlike the Small Business Development Corporation I met with before, will actually recommend lawyers, accountants and so forth.

The one disappointment about today's meeting was the age of Scott, my counselor. He wasn't a day over 30. If he's retired then I have GOT to start reading the Wall Street Journal more rigorously.

Oh I admit it, I was totally fantasizing about sitting down with a distinguished, silver-haired, Fortune 500 CEO and sharing stories of overseas travel (divine) and high-octane fuel (a must!) over biscotti and clotted cream. Not..so...much. But what he lacked in silver service, he made up for in advice - including...um...the fact that I apparently must start using a library.

Look - I never got the Dewey Decimal system, I was always kinda grossed out by the word "Dewey," and the closest I ever got to using a library to its full potential was going to Williams during high school, scoping cute college guys, and then stealing books to plagiarize for my history classes by dropping them out the bathroom window.

Let's just say when I talk "stacks," I mean it in the pancake sense.

Regardless, I think I'm going to have to suck it up and become friendly with the idea, as it seems like it's the logical next step. Another boon to today's meeting was realizing that the more practice I get talking to people about my idea, the smoother and more confident my pitch becomes. This will come in handy when I actually have to present it to a banker...such double and triple yikes, I can't even begin...I will wow him with my powerpoint. That much has been decided.

Posted by Bree at 04:08 PM | Comments (0)

February 02, 2006

Horse Lovers are Stable People

January 26, 2006

Competition? Bring It.

Part two of this week's mission has been to research area wine bars and suss out who exactly I'm going to be competing with, how they're doing, what they look like, what they're charging - you know. The jist.

To avoid showing up on Google searches totally slagging local businesses, I'm going to use code names. Bar #1? Code name: Rio. Not to be confused with "The Rio," a bar here that makes its margaritas with grain alcohol and wisely refuses to serve any one patron more than three. Not. Even. Me.

By the way, the best quote of last night goes, again, to Marie: "You know that song, 'Tequila Makes Her Clothes Fall Off?' I totally thought of you when I heard it!"

Ahem.

Moving on. This so-called Rio used to be a bookstore and coffee shop catering to Marie and her hooligan band of cigarette-smoking, guitar-playing, school-skipping, hair-pommading ex-boyfriends in high school. It turned itself into a wine bar a year or two back, and has met with success. Even being named "Best Wine Bar 2005" by the local alternative press here.

My verdict?
Suck Central.

Boring and uncomfortable decor (blonde wood with black formica accents), pedestrian menu (the cheese board offered cheddar, swiss and provolone...really.), crap art on the walls, and an uninspired wine list. The most offensive aspect, however, was that they were projecting Shrek on the wall.

Fish in a barrel, people.

To boot, the one server/bartender on staff forgot to take our order, brought Marie the wrong wine (and not just the wrong wine - the wrong color wine) and then overcharged us for it. Let's just say, we skedaddled to a much cooler place, where we purged our memories - and toasted to our future success - with Zinfandel and ceviche.

Um, Rio? Your ass is grass. And Sweet and Bitter's the lawnmower.
You heard me.

Click below for pictures of the joint. Don't worry - you'll never have to go there.

Because free wi-fi brings the fun.

Not a soft surface in sight.

The one interesting design feature.

Posted by Bree at 09:00 AM | Comments (1)

Loverboy Shines a Light

In an effort to advance my progress with Sweet and Bitter, I decided to heed the advice of Loverboy and "start from the start." So, I've spent a lot of time (cough...an hour...cough) researching Denver demographics, wine drinker demographics and consumption statistics.

Looking good, kids. Loooooking good.

Denver is full of healthy, fit, well-to-do, educated, intelligent consumers who like to booze it. Their age and socioeconmic stati dovetail (which is totally my word of the week, and no you can't borrow it) perfectly with those of wine drinkers. It's a mile-high match...natch.

• For the second consecutive year, Denver ranks as the best city in the nation for singles, thanks to the area's booming job market, relatively low cost of living, and large university population - Forbes Magazine, 2005
• Denver ranks in the top seven “cool“ cities for young professionals - Kiplinger Personal Finance, 2005
• Metro Denver ranked in the top 10 for business growth in the past five years - infoUSA, 2005
• Denver ranked second in the “Best Cities to Live and Work” - Employment Review and BestJobsUSA.com, 2004
• Denver and Boulder are the most desirable communities to live - Scripps Survey Research Institute Center at Ohio University, 2004
• Metro Denver ranked the second most competitive place to do business in the nation - San Diego Regional EDC, 2005

And now for some uncited, yet equally compelling, information:

• Denver receives 300 days of sunshine a year
• Denver is the nation's most highly educated city with the highest percentage of high school and college graduates.
• Denver brews more beer than any other American city.
• Denver has the largest city park system in the nation with 205 parks in city limits and 20,000 acres of parks in the nearby mountains.
• Denver is the "Baby Boomer" capital of America with the highest percentage of boomers of any major U.S. city.
• Denver is 20th in the U.S. in population, but has the 10th largest downtown in terms of office space and retail space.
• Denver has the nation's second largest performing arts center. The Denver Performing Arts Complex has eight theaters seating over 9,000 people.
• Denver citizens contribute more public funding for the arts per capita than any other U.S. city.
• Denver has the thinnest residents of any U.S. city, according to a federal study.

Basically, what this proves is that I'm the smartest person ever.

Reno - call me. No need to settle for Almost Paradise. Seriously, I've got paradise in spades over here.
Oh and you can keep your headband on. In fact...please do.

Posted by Bree at 08:19 AM | Comments (0)

January 23, 2006

TCB in a Flash

I spent the day outlining my business plan. Good times were had by all, especially when I realized how very little I know about accounting. Anyone wanna talk accrual?

This burst of motivation follows several days of "What, dear God, am I doing with my life?! WHY am I in Colorado?! Who would EVER give a loan or lease to someone with NO applicable experience?! Do I even WANT to open a bar?! WHERE is my liquid eyeliner?!" angst.

Well, at least several hours. But they were pretty heady. It's a strange little mission I've embarked on, but one which has already been beneficial, in several ways. It's just easy to get overwhelmed, and easy to be lured back to the familiar. I even found a freelance consumer writing gig in Boulder that I had to stop myself from applying for.

So, after getting some good perspective from some good friends, I kicked back, listened to the Old 97's (Tan Twhigg, YOU keep my world spinning.) and actually solved one of my MAJOR stumbling blocks! If I become a LLP, rather than an LLC (which is, naturally, how I just registered the name with the Colorado Secretary of State), then I can get my mom in as a partner, and include all her crazy entrepreneurial success on my business plan, loan applications, etc. Thus effectively masking my total lack of expertise!

Coat-tails?
Hop on!

I haven't actually confirmed this plan with the fair lady yet (details, details), but...you know. Full steam ahead!

Indeed, these are some crazy days, kids. Crrrrazy days. But each one is bringing me a chance to try something new, to deal with something unexpected, and to achieve something big. And that is all I've ever wanted.

Well...that and a Twix blizzard.
Either or, really. Not so picky.

Posted by Bree at 04:59 PM | Comments (1)

January 17, 2006

My Work Here is Done

So, after a robust 90 minutes spent on business development this morning, I have set up appointments with the Denver Business Assistance Center and the Small Business Development Center. I have also signed up for seminars on Start-up Basics and Business Plan Basics. Seems the money should be pouuuuring in, any second now.

I am pleased and impressed with the enormous amount of business and commerce-related resources Denver has made available online and off. The city seems to be remarkably amenable to start-ups. For instance, the Mayor's Office of Economic Development is giving low-interest loans to encourage businesses in neighborhoods that are being revitalized - like Colfax (!), my mom's favorite place to buy malt liquor. It's pretty exciting to be starting this venture in a city so ripe with possibility.

But, as the Tao Teh Ching advises, "Here is the Way of Heaven: When you have done your work, retire!"

So I'm going to celebrate my early-morning initiative with a run and a coffee. This afternoon? More exciting reading from the likes of "Kick Start Your Dream Business," "The Upstart Guide to Owning and Managing a Bar or Tavern," and "Starting on a Shoestring."

Could someone please cue up the phonograph?

Posted by Bree at 11:19 AM | Comments (0)