December 05, 2006
Brian Doyle Breaks It Down
“So much held in a heart in a lifetime. So much held in a heart in a day, an hour, a moment. We are utterly open with no one, in the end - not mother and father, not wife or husband, not lover, not child, not friend. We open windows to each but we live alone in the house of the heart. Perhaps we must. Perhaps we could not bear to be so naked, for fear of a constantly harrowed heart. When young we think there will come one person who will savor and sustain us always; when we are older we know this is the dream of a child, that all hearts finally are bruised and scarred, scored and torn, repaired by time and will, patched up by force of character, yet fragile and rickety forevermore, no matter how ferocious the defense and how many bricks you bring to the wall. You can brick up your heart as stout and tight and hard and cold and impregnable as you possibly can and down it comes in an instant, felled by a woman's second glance, a child's apple breath, the shatter of glass in the road, the words ‘I have something to tell you,’ a cat with a broken spine dragging itself into the forest to die, the brush of your mothers papery ancient hand in the thicket of your hair, the memory of your father's voice early in the morning echoing from the kitchen where he is making pancakes for his children.“
Above is the last paragraph of the delightfully succint and succulently delectable essay Joyas Valadoras. Get nuts and read the whole piece aqui, or check it out in Best American Essays 2005.
Oh and of course - be sure to pour yourself a Big Gulp of Lange Pinot Noir to enjoy with as our man Doyle is, coincidentally, the author of the book: The Grail: A Year Ambling and Shambling through an Oregon Vineyard in Pursuit of the Best Pinot Noir Wine in the Whole Wild World. And that's the boozy lit that made this Zin-suckling freak finally see the light in regards to "the noble grape of Burgundy."
Yeah. I'm a regular Paul Giamatti over here. Whoooey, Pinot! Whee! Yeah! Allllll right! Etc. (I'm far too overwhelmed to type through all these emotions. Also, I'm totally wasted on Diet Pepsi and string cheese. Don't worry about me; it's nothing I can't blame on altitude.)
Posted by Bree at 12:19 AM | Comments (0)
August 31, 2006
Bree to Surefire Success: "Sayonara!"
I'm revisiting my bidness plan this morning, and - though I'm not going for it no mo - look at these statistics! Ridonky-deuve, pass the Veuve!
According to Gallup’s annual Consumption Habits Poll, wine surpassed beer as the alcoholic beverage of choice for the first time in 2005.According to the Wine Market Council’s 2005 Consumer Tracking Study, there was a 31 percent increase in the U.S. wine-drinking population between 2001-2005.
“With eleven straight years of wine consumption growth in the U.S. now on record, and adult per capita table wine consumption at an all-time high, there has never been a better moment to capitalize on the positive trends and emerging demographic imperatives of the market.”
Don't worry - I remain committed to ignoring this information.
Posted by Bree at 10:11 AM | Comments (0)
August 09, 2006
I Brought My Pennnncillll...
Gimme something to write on! Or, at the very least, something to mop up this spill because - that's right - I'm heading back to school. Wine school. 
And as anyone who ever got a "What're you up to? Let's totttallly go out!" phone call following my Windows on the World classes knows - these things tend to get downright sloppy.
The siren's call of sloppiness aside, I signed up for three classes at the Cook Street Culinary School of Denver, Colorado in an effort to jumpstart my business thinkin' again (more on that...later...) and hobnob western wino-like. Come this September, I'll be all about the Burgundy, the Chateuaneuf de Pape ("Pape goes the weasel 'cause the weasel goes PAPE!"), the Champagne, the Alsace and - of course - everyone's favorite: the luscious and louche Loire.
Truth be told, this sudden burst of activity from your favorite ornery oenophilist is brought on in no small part by reading e-mails from my fellow chick, Jay, that say things like, "Today's my day off, going to Toronto for my FIRST WSET DIPLOMA CLASS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I'm stoked." Given that she's not an overly exclamatory writer, this got me thinking: I need some wine time that's not self-generated.
You know what else it got me thinking? Oh David Lee. How great though wert.
Posted by Bree at 08:12 AM | Comments (0)
June 06, 2006
When it Rains, it...Well...You Know
Frank Bruni cleanses out the whole pour issue in his blog post of June 1...which I just found today. Always the first with the breaking news over here. Interestingly, he and a lot of the commenters seem to consider stingy lil five-oz. pours standard issue (allowing five glasses of wine per bottle). However - and giving heart to the guzzlers amongst us - the owner of Cru wisely summons the mathematical practicality of combining six- and three-oz. pours out of the same bottle. Speaking from the serving side, this kind of thought leaves...um...little "present pours" back in the kitchen, which go a long way in making the shift ooze on by.
Especially when a super-fucking annoying couple brings their super-fucking annoying three-year old 
into the bar for several super-fucking annoying hours, as happened to my awesomely awesome colleague Caitlin and I last night. After listening to this kid scream, watching him run around, picking up the blocks he had thoughtfully scattered all over the bathroom egress, I begged Caitlin to rip my uterus out with tongs. That wasn't the best thing she heard all night though. Indeed, those honors go to Daddy Sucks A Lot who won the prize with these two entries: 1. "Pinot GRIGGio" and 2. "Our son's in the 97th percentile..."
97th percentile of total spaz is likely what he meant.
Ew. I had to Windex the display case after this mutant snotty sneezer basically tried to lick his way through to the yogurts. So appalling. They didn't even tip us. Though, I guess tip enough could be found in the fact the mom did not pursue potty-training adventures in our men's room...though by God she tried...
Ew...with Ew reduction.
Moving on or away or back to the article, whatever, there was an interesting note on the pricing side: one waiter in the comments section remarks that four six-oz. glasses translate into a bottle marked at four times the price of a glass. I think that Capuvino is at least a couple of bucks shy of that mark - and probably rightfully so. I think most people would not realize the six-oz. was a bit of a "gimme" and feel a bit cheated by the rigidity of that pricing.
One more point brought up in the discussion is this trend of bringing out wine in a carafe or decanter and setting it next to the glass. I think I'm going to avoid this. Doubles the dishes and it seems kind of gimicky and unnecessary. Though it would avoid the whole "screw-top versus cork" conversation that I'm sure will be had about...oh...seven thousand billion katrillion plus infinity times during tableside decantations over the next several years.
Posted by Bree at 07:31 AM | Comments (0)
June 02, 2006
TGIF Toast From Your Mountain Time Homeslice
Keep it clean out there, kids! Play nice and look sharp.
Posted by Bree at 01:31 PM | Comments (0)
May 28, 2006
Haiku for You...and You and You and You
Oh genius.
Wine reviews in the form of haiku. Indeed, this is a sweet time to be alive.
Some favorites:
The Little Penguin Pinot Noir 2004 (Australia)
Poor Mr. Pinot
They went and cut out his brain
Now he just smiles
Frei Brothers Redwood Creek Syrah 2002 (California)
Like a candy cane
That fell into the toilet
Gross, but kinda fun
Pellegrini Vineyards North Fork Merlot 1999 (Long Island, NY)
Barbecued handbag
Carpet cleaner marinade
Finishes like Scope
Rancho Zabaco Reserve Zinfandel (California) 2000
Do I drink this stuff
Or pour it over pancakes?
Deepest of purples
Posted by Bree at 03:21 PM | Comments (0)
May 27, 2006
26 Great Pieces of Advice I Didn't Write
Brought to you via Waiter Rant, I've pasted them all here - but the site is well worth going to as some of the comments on this post are pretty priceless, paisan.
1. Look at the wine list before asking, “What kind of wines do you serve by the glass?” The list at my bistro’s extensive. If I’ve got to rattle off all the wines, you’re wasting my time. Forgot your reading glasses? I’ll lend you mine.
2. Don’t ask, “What’s cheap?”
3. We love selling glasses of wine! The restaurant makes more money per bottle that way! Pssst! It’s usually cheaper to buy the bottle.
4. No, you can’t taste every wine on the list before deciding on something.
5. Read the wine list. Note the prices!
6. Remember the mark up – Most establishments mark up the price of a bottle from 1 ½ to 5 times the wholesale price. (At my bistro the markup’s pretty low.) Since you’re paying so much I recommend getting something you can’t get at the gas station or Stew Leonard’s. But that’s just me.
7. If you can’t pronounce the name of the wine, don’t. Just tell me the number. It’s like ordering in a Chinese restaurant. And don’t get all self conscious that “Brunello Montalcino di Biondi Santi” rolls off my tongue with the greatest of ease. I’ve had plenty of practice. You haven’t.
8. When the waiter presents the bottle LOOK AT THE LABEL! Sometimes waiters make mistakes. My bistro has several wines of differing vintages from the same maker. Sometimes a ’97 is a shitload more expensive than an ‘01! You drink it you buy it. Caveat emptor pal.
9. DO NOT SMELL THE CORK! - When I see someone do this I know I’m dealing with a complete amateur. Guess what you’re gonna smell? Cork! You want to feel the cork to make sure it’s intact. Is the bottom of the cork moistened with wine? Good. That means it was stored properly. Make sure the name on the cork matches the name on the bottle. Sometimes unscrupulous bastards put cheap wine in old wine bottles and re-cork them! Is there mold on the cork? That’s a bad sign. But smelling the cork, in the vast majority of cases, tells you nothing. (Full disclosure – I used to smell the cork before I was a waiter.)
10. DON’T SMELL THE PLASTIC CORK EITHER!- I can’t tell you how many times I’ve seen people do this. Lots of wine makers are moving away from natural cork to synthetics. Sniffing a plastic cork tells the world you’re a moron. Don’t smell the bottle cap either. (I never smelled the plastic cork before I was a waiter, so there!)
11. Swirl the wine – Now I pour some wine into a glass for you to taste. Most customers swirl the wine around in the glass to oxygenate or “open it up.” That’s fine. But SWIRL the wine! Don’t spin it like you’re trying to separate U-235 in a centrifuge machine! You’ve all seen these “connoisseurs.” They put the base of the glass on the table top and get a really good rotation going. Then they stop, smell, spin it again, stop, smell, spin, stop, smell, spin etc. After a few minutes they finally taste it and I have several new grey hairs. Maybe I can see that for 1975 Bordeaux. But for a $25 bottle you can pick up in the grocery store for $6? Please. You’re showing off.
12. Taste the wine – Now you take a sip. If the wine tastes like vinegar or smells like moldy cheese it’s bad.
13. Sending the wine back – If the wine’s bad send it back! It’s no skin off our nose. Usually we get a credit from the distributor. In most cases, however, people refuse a perfectly good bottle of wine just because they don’t like it. Whose problem is that? Mine? I don’t think so.
14. After you’ve tasted the wine and decided its acceptable say, “That’s fine,” or “Thank you.” That means you’ve accepted the bottle and will pay for it. Don’t wave, grunt, or nod. Tell me verbally you’re accepting the wine. This is a business transaction. Show some manners.
15. The Big Glasses – At my bistro we have very serviceable red and white wine glasses. However, some yuppies have a wine glass fetish and insist on sipping $6 Chianti out of a $50 Riedel balloon glass. Stop whining. The big glasses are for people who order older expensive wines that need to breathe. People who drink cheap wine out of the “big glasses” usually want the neighboring tables to think they’re drinking something pricey when they aren’t. Hey, Greeks and Italian’s drink wine out of water glasses. Get over it.
16. Finishing the bottle – Most people finish a bottle of wine because they enjoy it. But some people finish it because they think they can’t take it home. In the State of New York you take an open bottle home as long as the restaurant places it in a special sealed bag with a receipt. That way, if the cops pull you over, they know you’ve been drinking but not in the car! Good luck!
17. Know your limits – Wine is still booze! It can fuck you up just like tequila and usually faster. Pace yourself.
18. Cheap wine doesn’t mean its bad and expensive wine doesn’t mean it’s good. But expensive wine is usually expensive because it’s good and in demand. Simple economics folks.
19. If there’s cork in the wine that doesn’t mean the wine’s bad.
20. If there’s sediment at the bottom of the glass that doesn’t mean the wine’s bad.
21. Control your intake – My advice is to pour your own wine. That way you can control your intake and spending. Some waiters try and pour out the bottle before you’re done buttering your dinner rolls. They’re trying to make you buy another bottle! I hate that shit and don’t do it to my customers. When I go out, unless I know the waiter’s not a con artist, I pour my own wine.
22. Often the customer knows more about wine than the waiter does. (But sommeliers usually know more about wine than anybody.) Don’t try and embarrass the waiter by asking him whether the soil in a particular vineyard’s chalky or clay. We don’t know. But if you’re showing off in order to make me look bad - I have ways of exacting vengeance.
23.Tipping on wine. That’s always a tricky question. Here’s an example. I had a guy order a $500 bottle of Barolo and $100 in food. He left me $50 bucks. That’s fair. But I once had a guy order the same thing and leave me $200. Guess who I like better?
24. If you bring your own wine into a restaurant that has a liquor license you’re gonna pay a corking charge. Deal with it. We already let people carry in Starbucks coffee and breast feed their babies at the table. Next thing you know they’ll want to bring their own food.
25. Merlot is a perfectly good wine. Don’t believe all that “Sideways” crap. God I hate that movie!
26. Its wine, not the Blood of Christ. Don’t worship it. Enjoy it.
Posted by Bree at 09:33 AM | Comments (0)
May 25, 2006
Ain't No Party Like a West Coast Party
Calif. Winemakers Best French Rivals
NAPA, Calif. (AP) -- French and California winemakers marked the 30th anniversary of the storied Paris tasting with another sip-and-spit showdown.California won -- and by more than a nose.
Native wines took the top five of 10 spots, with a 1971 Ridge Monte Bello cabernet sauvignon from the Santa Cruz mountains coming out on top Wednesday.
''Today was a snapshot in time and all the stars were aligned properly. We had a lot of fun,'' said Peter Marks, director of wine at Copia, the Napa Valley wine and arts center where the New World end of the tasting was held. A European panel of tasters met at a London wine merchant to give their rating.
The May 24, 1976 tasting known as the Judgment of Paris is considered a milestone in the American wine industry because it shattered the perception that the New World was capable only of producing cheap bulk wines.
It was put together by Steven Spurrier, an English wine merchant who owned a shop and wine school in Paris. Spurrier, now a wine consultant, also was co-organizer of Wednesday's rematch.
The tasting was in two parts, with judges re-evaluating the original reds and then tasting a variety of modern reds and whites from both countries. (Whites don't generally age well and weren't part of the re-enactment.)
Back in '76, it was a complete surprise when California wines outclassed the French. A Stag's Leap 1973 cabernet sauvignon was top red and another Napa Valley wine, a Chateau Montelena 1973 chardonnay, took top white.
Tellingly, the judges were unable to distinguish the French and California wines, although they thought they could.
Spurrier staged a re-tasting for the 1986 anniversary, and California wines again took top places, although the No. 1 red then was a Clos du Val 1972 cabernet sauvignon.
The 30-year anniversary tasting sparked controversy, with some wineries on both sides of the Atlantic reluctant to have their new vintages tasted blind, a high stakes game in which someone has to come out last.
In a compromise, the re-enactment tasting was blind, but the new wines were identified by country so there was no direct competition.
Top French white was a Puligny-Montrachet Premier Cru des Pucelles 2002 Domaine Leflaive; for California it was a Talley Rosemary's Vineyard 2002. Top French red was a Chateau Margaux 2000 and the leading California red was a Ridge Monte Bello 2000.
''It's just beautiful,'' said Christian Vanneque, who was a judge at the '76 Paris tasting and again Wednesday in Napa. ''It shows that these California wines ... did win also the test of time.''
Holla at me, Ridge!
Posted by Bree at 12:23 PM | Comments (0)
May 21, 2006
Premier Wine Chicks Entry Up
Oh do check it out, brothers and sisters.
Posted by Bree at 01:11 PM | Comments (0)