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September 29, 2008
In Case You Couldn't Tell...
from the old pictures on Flickr and the e-mail I posted last week, I've been cleaning out my Google inbox. Here's another hit from the vaults:
From: briggles
To: Patrick
Sent: Friday, February 25, 2005 5:46 PM
Subject: Re: i made...
ps:
I've been working on a press release for [BRAND REDACTED] condoms (flavored) all week, and thus having conversations about ANILINGUS and BLOW JOBS with my boss all week...but the ultimate was when I had to tell him today to take the word "TANG" out of the release...and when he didn't really know why, i had to say "you know, like POONTANG."
For more in this vein, click here.
Posted by Bree at 03:39 PM | Comments (0)
Bizzy Buzzy Boo: Five Updates for You
I am apoplectically apologetic about my lack of updates, but assure you that life has been continuing on in grand fashion during this beauteous Colorado September. In short:
1. In an effort to, "you know, do more couply things" Matt and I visited the charming Wild Animal Sanctuary on Saturday. There were, literally, lions and tigers and bears...all of which were awesomely cute and all of which I wanted to have serious lay-down spoonsie hugs with. But, as requested, I resisted. In celebration of animals and animal meat both, we then chewed on cheeseburgers and fries at some sort of Johnny Reb cafe. I say that because there was a Johnny Reb illustration being soaped onto the window as we ate. In an effort to fit in, I had a regular coke.
2. In an effort to, "you know, intellectually challenge myself," I UGH started UGH writing again today. I only made it about 40 minutes but hope to up the ante to 45 by next year sometime. Anyway, it's a new program to shake these workaday doldrums and get the ole matter churning again. Which is kind of exciting. So, I'll keep you posted.
3. I am very close (two weeks more, maybe) to being done with the backyard demo project, and have completed a few more 'round the casa in the meantime (essentially, framing and hanging up pictures, reinstalling my fire alarms, throwing crazzzunkity crizzap out and repotting plants). Matt spent this last week enclosing his back porch, which now is the perfect go-between for my "I'm unhappy in but I'm unhappy out but I'm unhappy in" dog. As a couple, we like nothing more than to make improvements to our respective homes.
4. My car is *justabout* to reach the end of its 50,000 mile warranty, so I made an emergency appointment to bring it to the dealership way south of town at 7 A.M. tomorrow to have its vibration issue checked out before we road it down to Santa Fe on Thursday. The guy tried to convince me that it was probably a tire problem and thus would be covered past the warranty so I really didn't have to worry about it...lalalala...but armed with info from Matt, I countered, "But what about my CV joints?" and he folded like a little girl and got me an appointment. Thinking back on how annoying that conversation was, and - in fact - every single encounter I've had regarding my car for the past two years, I really must say a million times and in a million ways: I FUCKING HATE DEALERSHIPS. Next time out, I'm buying a Segway.
5. Right, assuming all goes decently with the car, we are off to Santa Fe on Thursday for some margaritas and hanging out time in celebration of our one year anniversary. Which is the longest I've dated someone since 2004. Halleluuuughs! I'm not the worst person on earth. This also is exciting as I really like Matt, I really like anniversaries (just ask Jenny), I really like Santa Fe and I really like tequila. I also am completely sexy and alluring when I drink it, so Matt's a lucky, lucky guy.
Posted by Bree at 01:27 PM | Comments (0)
September 26, 2008
Christmas Coming Early
I hate the spoil the surprise for the people on my list who are getting this t-shirt for Christmas, but the lovely Sam clued me in that the Lower Eastside Girl's Club (as mentioned in that article in the Times about tattoos) is selling these *sweet* Novio t's for only $10 a pop! The bonus being: Your purchase supports programs that teach inner-city girls culinary arts and business skills.
I'm serious though: if you and I exchange gifts and you are a girl, please don't buy yourself one. And also, please don't be mad that I only spent $10 on you. And bought you the same present I bought everyone. Kisses!
Posted by Bree at 01:54 PM | Comments (0)
Friday's Statement
So let me direct you to this designer's Flickr set.
Posted by Bree at 11:40 AM | Comments (0)
September 25, 2008
Slow News Day in D-Town
Imagine the fanfare if we had matched or even broken it.
Posted by Bree at 02:25 PM | Comments (0)
You Know You're Priced Out of a City...
when TIM GUNN can't afford to buy an apartment! Granted, he didn't make anything during the first season of Project Runway and granted, I'm still unsure about the cost/benefit ratio of actually owning, but ma GAH.
What’s the future of New York? What are your hopes, and what needs to happen?
Tim Gunn: I’d love to rid the city of private cars. Traffic here makes us feel like a Third-World city. And if I had another wish, I’d want the city to be more affordable—I just want to be able to buy an apartment! I don’t think that will ever happen.
You’re a renter?
Tim Gunn: Yeah. I’ve been renting for 25 years. And when I add up all that I’ve poured into that rental black hole, it’s formidable.
Link via TONY
Posted by Bree at 10:07 AM | Comments (1)
And Now, Some Inspiration to Help You "Make it So" This Thursday
Posted by Bree at 08:48 AM | Comments (0)
September 24, 2008
Teens Today
I was just at the Cherry Creek mall, dropping ducats on some very schwanky sunglasses at Neimans (recession? economic collapse? say whuuu?) and cold-kicking it with the fair Angela on her break from work. While Angela haggled with the staff at Starbucks to exchange her stale "Snickerdoodle" for some sort of chocolate-covered pumpkin bread cookie (I have no idea), I overheard two teenagers sitting next to us having the most bizarre and casual conversation ever. It seemed like the volume kept going in and out (or maybe it was my overtaxed brain melting into my ear canals) but forthwith, a brief summary of the snippets I heard:
He: I congratulate you for being so wealthy.
She: I know. I can't believe it. My mom told me and I couldn't believe it.
He: You'll inherit a lot of money, which is cool. It's too bad he had to die.
***
He: Have you seen the movie [about your family/dead father/dead uncle]?
She: No but I saw the book. Didn't Spielberg make it?
He: We had to watch it in school. It was boring.
***
He: I don't like the sing-along.
She: I don't like it either.
He: (Most nonchalant tone ever) When my brother died, I just stayed in the basement playing video games while they all sang in the living room.
She: Yeah, my aunt is having 40 people over to sing. Have you even seen where she's living?
And scene.
I clearly need to spend more time at the mall. That dialogue has given me material for four short stories and an opera.
Posted by Bree at 05:58 PM | Comments (0)
September 23, 2008
Attn Chicago: You Are Trapped On This Earth So You Will Explode
My favorite artist, Jenny Holzer, is having a big fat exhibition at the Museum of Contemporary Art from October 25 to February 1, you lucky DOGS, you. I've seen her work in person before (at the Williams College Museum of Art) and it is astounding.
Posted by Bree at 12:59 PM | Comments (2)
September 22, 2008
Quote of the Day
“She’s annoying, and she eats shit out of a can.” - Alexis Stewart on Rachel Ray
Via the excellent article, How Did Martha Stewart End Up With Howard Stern's Baby? in New York Magazine.
Posted by Bree at 04:17 PM | Comments (0)
Pecha Kucha
Angela and Jaime's third Pecha Kucha night is fast approaching (and, once again thank JAY-Z, I have dodged the presentation bullet). Monday at 8:20 at Buntport, but be sure to get there early as seats go quickly. More info here and oddly hazy still life of the two princesses of .ppt below:
Posted by Bree at 11:18 AM | Comments (0)
September 21, 2008
Something to Remember
From Milton Glaser's "Ten Things I Have Learned" talk to the AIGA in London (curious he gave a talk to the AIGA in London, no?), 2001:
1. YOU CAN ONLY WORK FOR PEOPLE THAT YOU LIKE.
This is a curious rule and it took me a long time to learn because in fact at the beginning of my practice I felt the opposite. Professionalism required that you didn’t particularly like the people that you worked for or at least maintained an arms length relationship to them, which meant that I never had lunch with a client or saw them socially. Then some years ago I realised that the opposite was true. I discovered that all the work I had done that was meaningful and significant came out of an affectionate relationship with a client. And I am not talking about professionalism; I am talking about affection. I am talking about a client and you sharing some common ground. That in fact your view of life is someway congruent with the client, otherwise it is a bitter and hopeless struggle.
Posted by Bree at 04:11 PM | Comments (0)
My Sons-to-Be
Call it a hunch...
Posted by Bree at 04:00 PM | Comments (0)
September 19, 2008
My Last Months in New York Were Filled With Serenity
On Monday, November 14, 2005 3:46 PM, briggles wrote:
--- hi -- why don't i add another layer of weird stress to my life:
uh let's see
this week, i'm giving notice, slept over at a stranger's apartment, spent six hours with an exboyfriend, found out my best friend might be moving to hong kong...HMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM
great mood
GARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR <-- furious rage.
now i need an eggnog latte.
Posted by Bree at 10:48 PM | Comments (0)
Five-Word Movie Review Friday
can i haz lyin plz?
Posted by Bree at 09:03 PM | Comments (0)
Do Not Poke Don Draper
Via WWDDD
Posted by Bree at 03:00 PM | Comments (0)
September 18, 2008
Fuck Scrabble
There are few things in this world I hate more than Scrabble. Every time I play, I get yelled at for some inane reason like "You can't put three-letter words in the middle" or "Lustnutz isn't in the dictionary." I HATE HATE HATE IT. In fact the only reason I abide by its existence at all is because a friend of mine, a lovely, blonde NYC friend of mine, made the funniest joke of all time about guys who automatically assume that because you're a. smart and b. literate you'd like nothing more than to play the SUCKIEST SUCK GAME of all time with them. If mems serve, she said, "Uh huh, yeah...Scrabble...what's a five-letter word for 'You're SO not getting laid tonight?'"
Oh it brings a smile to my face even as I type. For that gem, I gave her a special initial Scrabble tile keychain for Christmas a few years back...which I hope she promptly threw in a gutter somewhere because it, like every instance I've played the game from whence it sprang, BLEW.
But anys. KJ, darling, this is for you:
And the next time I'm in New York, I'm recreating it in your bedroom. With those exact words.
Posted by Bree at 11:15 PM | Comments (1)
Mutterings
Up there? That's my newest screen saver (available at the low low price of zero pounds silver here). It's kind of exciting.
In other news, I've been busting relative hump this week - driving all around town, actually thinking at work, which I'm loathe to do - and had to play Keep on Livin by Le Tigre on my way home tonight to get myself back into my normal mood of lassitude...
Then I got here, after a long and long and looooong day, and the DEUCE promptly plopped her ass on my silk-shoed-toes and farted. It was the perfect welcome.
I have other things to say. My lovely manfriend, who's all "I live in Wyoming; I work in Colorado" is gone until Saturday or Sunday in the aforementioned state, so I have decided to use my spare time wisely and write something and then paint it on something and basically make my own version of THIS on Saturday:
Only problem is, I haven't written anything yet. And have already decided I want it to be an odd size (uhhh...like 2 feet by 5 feet) so yeah. These parameters, as they tend to, might get in the way of me actually accomplishing anything. Such is the life of a lazy creator.
I am also making a scarf which started at 25 stitches and somehow now is about 35...very snake swallowed the mongoose, if you know what I'm saying. I'm beginning to think it may not be appropriate to give away as a gift but, as my Matt said, "It looks homemade 'cause it is." Humble square all up IN THIS PIECE. Merry Christmas, Jenny.
In keeping with Steve Perry week Sweet and Bitter, I'll leave you with this:
That's the real-life Sherrie! In addition to being his girlfriend and the inspiration of the song, she was also the girl in the video! I am DIGGING on her hair but also wondering why their oven is filled with canned preserves. I guess I'll never fully understand the rock-n-roll lifestyle.
Oh and also...should I get a three-legged dog?
He is gentle and calm and would do well in any household that has a yard. He loves to investigate the outdoors! He doesn't seem to care that he has three legs and has adapted very well. Stairs and cars aren't a problem and he even does handstands when he potties! He's got the most beautiful fluffy fur and loves to be scratched on the neck.
I must admit, the handstands when he potties bit has got me a little...concerned. Is it appropriate to ask, "Which potty?"
Posted by Bree at 05:30 PM | Comments (1)
September 17, 2008
Breaking: Alec Baldwin Looked to Off Himself in my Home County!!
"Driving up the Taconic Parkway, heading to an inn in the Berkshire Mountains, I began to think about what little town I would repair to in order to commit suicide. What semi-remote Massachusetts state park could I hike deep into and overdose there?"
- Quote via my brother and Fox News
Ah, the Berkshires. Source of so much...bonhomie. Though, to be fair, the Taconic Parkway often does inspire thoughts of death even in the non-suicidally-inclined. If he really wanted to end it, eff the OD, he should've just driven up there on bald tires in a snow storm or played an invigorating game of deer-dodge at 90 mph in a Jeep Wrangler...not that I'd know from experience or anything, Mom.
Posted by Bree at 10:02 AM | Comments (0)
September 16, 2008
Working Hard to Get my Thrill
And here it is - my entry on the MoreCowbell.dj web site: Journey's "Don't Stop Believing."
| Make your own at MoreCowbell.dj | ||
Does it say "Don" on your browser too? You're most welcome. And, even though my boyfriend doesn't know who he is and I say it every year and never follow through, 2008 will be the year I fulfill my dream of going as Steve Perry for Halloween:
Though to tell you the truth, I'd much prefer to go as Steve Perry in renaissance garb and crown OVER a button-up shirt, jeans and high-tops a la the oft-overlooked masterpiece that IS the Oh Sherrie video (*broom guitar starts at 3:50):
And can I just point out the fact that if Sherrie and Steve had ever made it all the way, she would've been Sherrie Perry?
Posted by Bree at 10:41 PM | Comments (2)
Carl Makes the NY Times!
"Carl and I stopped in front of a stack of vintage V-neck sweater vests, which were decorated with bright snowflakes and squares around the collar and waist. They were interesting, but they were also $200. A magnetic store person walked up and persuaded Carl to try one on. The little sweater made him resemble a Keebler elf in grad school. Carl politely returned the garment, and I pulled him out, before one of us went home with something we would regret the next morning."
- Critical Shopper, A Package Store for Preppies by Mike Albo
(For the uninitiated, Carl is my friend who, among other fabulous works of art, made the S+B logo! He is also very stylish and rarely looks like an overly educated elf.)
Posted by Bree at 09:01 PM | Comments (0)
A Short But Valuable Post
Including this gem from Captain My Captain Spicer.
Please watch it. It'll make my day if you do.
Posted by Bree at 06:51 PM | Comments (0)
September 14, 2008
Literary Hairshirt
When I reorganized my library into fiction, nonfiction, reference and books I haven't yet read, I was...erm...astounded by how many books I've been dragging around for years that haven't been cracked open once. As in five linear feet of books I've been dragging around for years that haven't been cracked open once. For the past six months or so, I've been doggedly slogging through them all, including uncorrected proofs from my days in publishing (not, may I add, published by the romance and true crime-concentrated house I worked for), long nonfiction tomes on the history of Scotland, Ireland and the Vanderbilts...uh...and other things. It's exhausting not to buy or read new stuff. Or good stuff. Exhausting, I tell you.
So, yeah, surprise surprise, I cracked today and bought Things the Grandchildren Should Know by the lead singer of Eels, which is getting super-strong reviews, and Are You There Vodka? It's Me, Chelsea which sounds light and amusing and perfect. I guess you could call this my memoir stage. Or my "need to be entertained by books" stage. Either or. Your choice.
Posted by Bree at 10:53 AM | Comments (0)
Substitutions
I didn't get anything at the rather small and unimpressive punk rock flea market yesterday, so I comforted myself with this Etsy find:
Chloe Necklace, $49 from Sparkle Couture.
I also bought two floating frames from Crate and Barrel to solve the framing dilemma mentioned below. Matte? Who needs matte? pffft. Of course, I want to paint them pink before using them so that'll be another project to concentrate on while Matt is gone UNTIL NEXT SUNDAY. Have I mentioned that? I am all "O sole mio" over here.
In other news, my wee backyard demo project - aka ripping out 800 sf of mulch, plants and lining so I can have it sodded in the spring - is moving along smoothly.
Those aren't snakes, they're sprinkler lines. Trust me, I investigated.
One thing I've learned is that I probably shouldn't shovel in flip flops. Also? There are roots under that piece that are the size and strength of oil pipelines. Slugs too. It's terrifying. Deuce has been a big help. She's now taking dumps in the middle of my workspace to aid in the fertilization process. My jeans are too long so her efforts managed to fertilize my cuffs as well.
Posted by Bree at 08:52 AM | Comments (0)
September 11, 2008
Betty, Between Me, You and the Lamppost, I Feel the Same Way
Posted by Bree at 04:02 PM | Comments (0)
Cheap and Good
I bought the above poster at Good Shape Design the other day for a mere $30. It's perfect (parfait!) - all black, graphic-y goodness - to hang over the crazy wallpaper in my library. So far, the only things I have on the walls in there are the Jason Miller mirror and a small little piece made out of book pages that no one will ever notice.
The only problem with me buying all these posters and so on is that it necessitates trips to Michaels for cheap, junky frames, which I put off and put off because I find the process so tedious and frustrating. Especially when you've got something, (like my Royal Tennenbaums prints), that measures 8 1/2 x 11 but has a white border around it that makes it look SUPREMELYSILLY in an 8 x 10 frame (which shows the white border only on two sides). In my experience, almost all of the prints I covet on Etsy are like that. It's annnnoying because I must smother the smugness of getting a cool piece at a bargain basement price with some exorbitant frame bullshit I can't afford or go the cheap route and be pissed and disappointed every time I see it.
If I had a genie, I would wish there was some middle ground between $300 custom framing and the $6 plexiglass and wood veneer craptunculars. And then I would wish for dental insurance. My third wish would be for french toast.
Posted by Bree at 08:45 AM | Comments (3)
September 10, 2008
Today on Annoyance Allowance
In terms of smug, bourgeois and ultimately pointless problems, I think I really hit the ball out of the park with this entry. But jeez, isn't that what Annoyance Allowance is all about? Right, Ang? Fax me our mission statement when you get a chance.
Yes. Annoyance Allowance. The stockpiling of all our most trivial concerns. Indeed, I had to take down an AA post last week or so about how annoyed I was that Dateline was running a super depressing two-hour long special on Bulgarian mental institutions or something on a FRIDAY night. Someone commented that I "should go back to my toons" if I couldn't deal with/lend a hand to help solve the horrors of this life, which I wholeheartedly agree with...and agreed with. And plan to agree with in the future. Not even going to point out that I don't even like cartoons. Except for the occasional Family Guy or Simpsons. And I mean occasional with a capital "O" and a cocked eyebrow. So I took it down. And e-mailed an apology because it really did make me feel like a douchebag with a capital "D" and a capital "B." And totally straightforward, un-ironic eyebrows.
But, I mean seriously, how would one go about fixing the Bulgarian mental institution crisis? I can't even find my fucking cat.
In other news, I finally found the e-card that sums up my entire existence:
Posted by Bree at 05:06 PM | Comments (2)
Turkey Time
Above? Yeah, you caught me. It's the Turkish version of Rambo. It's also "how I do" on a Wednesday morning.
Also of note to the cinephiles in the audience: Superman, Star Wars and The Wizard of Oz.
Thanks Margs!
Posted by Bree at 09:11 AM | Comments (0)
September 09, 2008
Patent Trending
Pantone just released its spring 2009 fashion color report. It kind of concerns me because, allowing for slight differences in hue, my dining room is palace blue, my bedroom is fuschia red, my office is lavender, my kitchen is vibrant green and my guest room is slate gray. And, though it's more of a stretch, I should get some points for the yellow living room as well. That means I'm five and a half out of nine. Which means I'm 61.11111(bar)-percent trendy. Which means nearly 2/3's of my choices will look dated and irritating just about the time I'm ready to sell this place.
grumble, grumble.
Sad but true: regardless of trends, I'm going to have to puke beige all over this place to ever make it palatable to another.
Posted by Bree at 07:25 PM | Comments (0)
Never Love a Wild Thing
Never love a wild thing, Mr. Bell,” Holly advised him. “That was Doc’s mistake. He was always lugging home wild things. A hawk with a hurt wing. One time it was a full-grown bobcat with a broken leg. But you can’t give your heart to a wild thing: the more you do, the stronger they get. Until they’re strong enough to run into the woods. Or fly into a tree. Then a taller tree. Then the sky. That’s how you’ll end up, Mr. Bell. If you let yourself love a wild thing. You’ll end up looking at the sky."
— Truman Capote, Breakfast at Tiffany’s
Related: My wild thing.
Posted by Bree at 07:09 PM | Comments (0)
September 08, 2008
Where's Walter?
Oh, with a sad heart I write this. Walter has been missing since Saturday night. Though Walter's a traveling man, for sure, he has never spent this long away before. I am bereft, crying and wandering the neighborhood and alleys like a crazy person, but am trying to wait until tomorrow before hanging up signs and going to the shelters. I can't get the thought of someone stealing him and feeding him to a pit bull out of my mind, and it's devastating.
Posted by Bree at 09:31 AM | Comments (3)
September 02, 2008
I Wanna Be Haunted by the Ghost...
Matt and I are heading up to Estes Park on Thursday for a night's stay at The Stanley Hotel (cue: ooooheewooo and other ghostly noises). This is the hotel that a. inspired The Shining (and shows an uncut loop of it on all the hotel TV's at all times to satisfy guests' repeated pleas for "MORE SCATMAN CROTHERS!" ) and b. has a starring role in Dumb and Dumber. Friends of mine who've stayed there saw and heard some weird-ass shit, (including a TV blaring all night long in the unoccupied room next to them), but this tidbit from Wikipedia might take the cake:
In 2006, a guest attending her sister's wedding (held in the Music Room) had an unearthly and unexplained encounter. During the wedding reception, she went upstairs to the Bride and Groom's suite and -- as a joke -- wrote "RED RUM" on the bathroom mirror in lipstick. (Funny! - Ed.) Returning downstairs, walking down the grand staircase leading to the lobby, she felt a distinct shove on her lower back, lost her footing, and fell eight steps landing face down on the wood floor below. After being helped to her feet, she looked behind her to see who did it, and no one was there. Members of a tour group in the lobby who witnessed her fall also saw no one behind her on the staircase.
I plan on washing down several Xanax with a flask of scotch to get through the night. This shouldn't be hard to accomplish, seeing as we'll be in town for the annual Long's Peak Scottish/Irish Highland Festival, Inc.:
There will be pipers piping and drummers drumming, kilts and plumed bonnets, brave steeds bearing medieval jousters in combat, caber, stone and hammer throwing athletes...The dogs indigenous to the British Isles will win your hearts and tempt you to add a "family member". Fine merchants and talented crafters with exotic Celtic merchandise, beautiful clothing, exquisite jewelry, fascinating heraldry histories, and art in all its many guises will satisfy the most ardent souvenir collector... Hungry, are you? Then the Festival is a haven of the familiar American foods and Celtic specialties-turkey legs, hamburgers, ice cream, Scotch, beer, haggis, meat pies, funnel cakes and much, much more!
More info on the Stanley here. More info on haggis here. And, on a personal note, I'd just like to add that I offered my brutally hungover boyfriend $100 to eat a plate of haggis in Scotland in the late '90s and he refused. That's all.
Posted by Bree at 01:24 PM | Comments (2)
September 01, 2008
The Bushes
My front yard has two garden plots on either side of the porch steps. When I moved in, these were covered with pretty, unobtrusive ground cover. Yet, my need to tackle projects beyond my skill/know-how being what it is, I soon (1 1/2 years after moving in) added the ground cover removal/new bush addition task to the ever-expanding list of things to do. I hired a nice young person to dig out the beds at the beginning of the summer and then...put off all subsequent process until just yesterday. Yes, me and my neighbors have been enjoying the sight of ground up dirt in my front yard for all of this jubilant season. Oh the accolades my little cemetery received! I would post all the kind notes and e-mails regarding this ever ecologically-minded return to the earth, but alas - whose bandwidth could take it? Not mine, sir. Not mine.
Despite the positive feedback and calls to spread my "back to basics" gardening aesthetic nationwide, I dragged (or, as they say here in Colorado, "drug") my kind and patient manlover to Paulino Gardens on Saturday. Granted, I thought it was on Broadway and Louisiana (it's not, it's on Broadway and 58th), but after a little trial by tire, we made it there to discover a 40-percent (you heard me Chicago Manual of Style, that's 40 HYPHEN PERCENT) off sale on shrubs and trees! Oh blessed be! After much fretting, sunstroke and extremity scratches from a misguided struggle with barberry bushes, as well as a conversation with Matt wherein he gently reminded me that half of this project was in shade and half in sun, I finally found a woman driving around on a golf cart (true) who told me that Manhattan Euonymus was the plant for me.
Good in all conditions, pretty, basic and not evergreen. I bought six. Plus six bags of mulch. And a cherry tree for Matt, which he promptly named Fred. $230 on the Amex was easily digested with a cheeseburger and large diet cola at Good Times on Colfax immediately following.
In the midst of what will forever be known as "world's fastest housing of a burger," (I was done before 17th street, WORD), we brought the plants to my house, where I swore and sweated and railed against the dual travesties of hard work and dirt before getting two into the ground (below, and note persnickity ground cover, which is probably akin to the cockroach in nuclear annihilation survival skills).
After being forced into a Silkwood shower (clarification: I was forced into a Silkwood shower by my own stench), we continued our day of flora frivolity by bringing Fred to Musketeer at Buntport. He didn't come inside but, judging from all his ribald tales of swashbuckling in the cherry grove, we like to think he enjoyed it all the same. (Aside: If you don't know what I'm talking about when I talk about Buntport, this is what I'm talking about.)
I left the other four to work on today (above and below), which I did with both aplomb and minor abrasions. Notice also the gigantic zucchini hedgerow to the right, and let me know if you would like any zucchini. For I've taken to eating it at breakfast, for midnight snacks and as a "quick pick me up" during Pilates.
One would think I would move all the trash out of the way before taking my "Ta Da!" pictures, but one would really not be rewarded with that line of thinking.
So now, for the time being, I am resting on my laurels and your laurels both. I will sit here and drink a diet coke plus vitamins with the satisfaction of a job that if not well done is at least, well, done. Photographic evidence to the contrary, I would also like to enjoy this time imagining my bushes are perfectly spaced.
Posted by Bree at 12:23 PM | Comments (3)