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July 31, 2008
Welcome to My Head
For the past few weeks, this has been its theme song.
I'm double posting this on Annoyance Allowance to truly express the magnitude of the situation.
Posted by Bree at 02:21 PM | Comments (0)
No Product Photographer, I
But look!
I finished my backsplash!
The measuring, painting and mosaic-ing all went off without a hitch but Matt and I found ourselves in a bit of a double-pour epoxy pickle over the weekend. Seems the d-p e didn't want to conform to the mold Matt built. Which, to be precise, involved wax paper, duct tape, 2 x 4's and kebab sticks. So the crazy shit went (somewhat) ALL OVER my back deck (if you can call a concrete slab a "deck") and resulted in a front of the backsplash that looked absolutely perfect (minus the fruit fly I've forever embalmed in hopes of creating my own Jurassic Park type situation)...and sides of the backsplash marred with the aforementioned wax paper and duct tape. Which had become one with each other and then had a menage with the epoxy.
Matt, being the Mike Rowe of my house at least, took my sad little effed-up backsplash to his shop yesterday and RUINED a saw blade trimming off the glass mosaic edges (and all the crap that was stuck to them) on the top and sides. But he got them off, so I painted it to match and stuck it back up there today.
Hopefully at some point, it will actually get attached to the wall, but I'm not making any promises.
Posted by Bree at 01:25 PM | Comments (1)
July 30, 2008
My Spirit Animal is Le Tigre
For I am among the more mystical of the megafauna.
Posted by Bree at 10:54 AM | Comments (0)
July 29, 2008
Strike That
I think that I may not be getting a new dog after all. Marie had the very good notion that she and I and people like us tend to get to a good, manageable point in our lives and then decide to test ourselves by adding more. When she brought up that idea, I immediately recognized it to be the truth. I'm open like that. And she's right like that.
I still have plans to meet with the rescue lady today and maybe talk to her about the idea of fostering a dog rather than adopting one. That might be more my steez at this particular juncture. I mean, I woke up at 6 a.m. today to work for one client (unheard of), am at the office of another right now and don't even have time to go to the gym or see my boyfriend or even take the afternoon constitutional I so covet. Another dog just might not be in these cards.
Posted by Bree at 11:12 AM | Comments (0)
Who CALLED IT, bicches!?
I effing TOLD you ID bracelets were on the comeback.
Sterling ID Bracelet, $150
I would feel infinitely more smug if I hadn't completely forgotten to rifle through my dad's drawers (like my mom instructed me to) the last time I was home and steal the one she bought for him that he never wears. Of course, I think it might be a diabetic alert bracelet which would likely lessen the stylish effect but, whatever. When it comes down to it, I probably shouldn't eat sugar either.
PS Sorry I called you "bicches." I didn't mean it.
PPS I was only on J. Crew's site to check out the vintage Rolexes they're supposedly selling now.
PPPS I haven't found them yet.
Posted by Bree at 08:48 AM | Comments (1)
July 28, 2008
Recently I've Discovered
That owning my own business has kind of turned me into that guy. It's becoming most of what I think about, which has as much to do with the fact that I work from home - and thus never really leave work - as anything. This new-found compulsion likely also has to do with the fact that my work is now, always, going straight from me to the client. There are no editorial second-chances, like there are in an agency. No. It's just me and my oft-emulated "wait a day and then read it aloud in another room" mode of proofing. This, at times, can create heartburn.
So, I think about it. A lot. About how to get new clients, about what to do next, about where I could possibly bring this business (more on that later but I'll give you one hint: the idea of moving has come up more than once this summer), about whether I should scrap it all and go back to an agency and so on.
This may just be a byproduct of the work I'm doing for a new client this week, and the ever-increasing expectations I have (and promise) of myself to pump out quality product each time I get out of the gate. But jeebz. All of a sudden, I've got this to finish, that to finish, a proposal to write, a new colleague to meet and on and on. It's almost like I'm running a business here, kids. That said, I fucking earned my coffee today.
And those steak knives too.
Posted by Bree at 03:27 PM | Comments (1)
July 26, 2008
Don't Be Fooled
I kind of...um...how to put this...pulled my butt at the gym this morning. The worst part is that it happened WALKING UP THE STAIRS to the weight room. Where I proceeded to do squats and lunges and treat it (the butt) with a sort of (vain)glorious disregard that I am now paying for. Short story shorter: don't be fooled. That Jason Cooling Mineral Gel still makes you smell like Mr. Benjamin Gay. And by you, I mean me. And by me, I mean my butt.
This may put a serious crimp in my usual Saturday night routine of breakin' offa piece of that yum-yum down Colfax way.
Posted by Bree at 03:04 PM | Comments (0)
Sure You Can Use My Phone...
OH and speaking of pets. Forget Blair Witch, Walter has now succeeded in his quest to turn my basement into an infinitely more horrible lair of Jame Gumb-inspired depravity.
I just went downstairs (never again! never again!) to change the laundry and realized he had another LIVE bird he was tormenting down there. So, after a bit of back-and-forth with the cat (I reasoned, he resisted), I scooped them both up and put them outside - where he is CURRENTLY DISEMBOWELING IT on my welcome mat. I am **so** attaching a cowbell to that little murderer's neck.
Just as soon as I can leave the house, I mean.
Posted by Bree at 01:43 PM | Comments (2)
Grappling
It's impossible.
It's totally impossible.
We don't have the proper cars. We vacation too much. Our houses are too small. Our beds are too small.
Yet.
Matt and I are thinking of getting another dog. I believe there must be about a ten-time limit of surfing the local shelter's web sites and finding beasts like:
My name is Cleo. You can probably tell from my picture that I'm not a purebred Saint Bernard. I am a mix, most likely German Shepherd. I am a very sweet, very smart girl. I love to play with the other dogs in my foster home, and I don't seem to have much interest in cats. I would love to find a home where I can spend the rest of my life with a real family of my own.
and
Hi, I'm Seamus ( shay-muss )! I came to Rescue because I escaped from my back yard when it snowed and got into trouble. I am a smooth coat, medium-sized Saint mix ( probably have some lab in my family tree somewhere, but don't hold it against me ). I am very athletic, and love to play. I weigh about 100 pounds now, so I'll be a good sized boy when I'm done growing. I would love to find a home with a playmate with my energy level. I will need obedience training, but do fine in a crate, and have my house-training down cold.
and
I am a beautiful 2 year old fawn male. I am such a sweet, shy little boy. My Hocobare helper says my pictures don't do me justice, and that my face in incredible! I was very scared in the kennel and I shook in fear, but when I was in a foster home with 2 other boxers to play with, I came out of my shell and was doing fabulous! I am very affectionate and have lots of love to give. I will steal your heart!
before you go and grab one. I also believe, on some level, that because we can both afford it and provide solid, loving, permanent homes to abandoned critters, we should. We just should. And, of course, a big, furry, drooly addition will bring us one step closer to our goal of founding the Park Hill ice bear army.
Posted by Bree at 09:47 AM | Comments (2)
July 24, 2008
Myrtle the Wordle Plus Some Quotes From the Former Prime Minister of France
I'm kind of bored by this Wordle thing, seeing as every single design blog has done it over the past week, but alas - I'm also kind of bored with reading depressing, work-related articles about veterans and chronic pain. So there you go: damned if you do, damned if you donut. Here's S + B's word cloud from its July entries:
In other news, these quotes from Georges Clemenceau are cracking my vaguely hungover shit UP this a.m.
"Americans have no capacity for abstract thought, and make bad coffee." (True and true over in this piece. - Ed.)
"My son is 22 years old. If he had not become a Communist at 22, I would have disowned him. If he is still a Communist at 30, I will do it then."
"America is the only nation in history which miraculously has gone directly from barbarism to degeneration without the usual interval of civilization."
Posted by Bree at 09:20 AM | Comments (0)
July 22, 2008
Right Up My Eerie Alley
I'm very excited for a very nerdy reason: The Rescuers arrived (via Netflix) in my mailbox just this afternoon. Yes, The Rescuers. That animated classic about Bernard and Bianca and Penny (OMG! PENNY!) that scared the crap out of me (and surely into my under-roos) repeatedly as a child. It's odd to have such vivid memories about something I haven't watched in at least 20 years - but there you have it. I can't wait to pop her in and get that weird nostalgia/deja vu feeling you get when you see something you last saw through the eyes of youth. Kind of like when I bust out those old "Read Along Records" that my parents still have and just by looking at the pictures, am instantly transported back to lying on that scratchy old green carpet in our living room, learning my ABC's with my sweet hi-fi tutor.
Posted by Bree at 04:52 PM | Comments (3)
July 18, 2008
Oh Man, Absolutely Stunning
I saw a post today on Gesine Hackenberg and her repurposed ceramics and had to share the beauty:
Posted by Bree at 09:30 PM | Comments (0)
Frumps
This is what I look like after a day of writing and working out. Who's got the spread on whether or not I can pull this shit together for tonight? Le sigh.
Posted by Bree at 05:12 PM | Comments (2)
Denver Times
I'm getting excited for this weekend. Which is unfortunate, seeing as I still have several hours of work and showering ahead of me before it truly starts. But here's the rundown:
TONIGHT: Party for a new magazine here in town that I've done some PR work for. I'll give you a cryptoquip for the name so it doesn't show up on Google searches but it's like when Styx sings "I am the MODREN man" except use the, um, correct word and then the second part is "IN" and then the third is the city that is one-mile high. Phew. Glad we got through that. Anyhows, there's a launch party for it tonight over on the rooftop of the swankadoo condos abutting the Liebeskind-designed Denver Art Museum and I've cajoled my dear sweet Angela into being my plus one (her work is also featured in the premier issue) so looky here! That's good stuff. I may even wear a bra. Or Angela's bra. Undecided.
TOMORROW: Matt's family is having the latest of their once-every-ten-years "Zero's Party." This is to celebrate all the family members born in a year ending in 8, which apparently numbers in the dozens. I'm bringing cupcakes and a penchant for public drunkenness, and have also extended the invitation to my dear sweet Marie so that she too may glory in the glory that is an outdoor party in 100-degree heat with Irish people who don't like seeing your glass half-empty. I predict sunstroke and alcohol poisoning in equal parts.
DAY AFTER TOMORROW: My dear sweet Matt has promised me the best of all gifts of this day: 24 (give or take 18) hours of work on my house! This pleases me to no end, as it will give me a chance to attack some of the Jurassic Park-style weeds in my backyard (seriously, what I would GIVE for a brontosaurus to help out with lawn maintenance) as he runs outdoor conduit for my *best*purchase*ever* swamp cooler. There's even a planned trip to CENTENNIAL, COLORADO to procure some bushes for my landscaping treatment in the front yard. I'm all, "Have Bush, Will Travel." But anyway. We'll cap off the day during a kick-backed showing of Dark Knight and maybe...just maybe...try to best our current record score of 75,000 on Text Twist.
My privates are already burning in excitement. At least...I think that's what it is.
Posted by Bree at 10:45 AM | Comments (0)
July 17, 2008
Where I Wish I Was
Posted by Bree at 12:38 PM | Comments (0)
Thursday A.M.
You know when you're writing a blog post for a client and all of a sudden you find yourself sticking a lame Andy Rooney quote in the lede and then you decide that maybe you're not quite as good at your job as you like to believe you are so then you take up huffing?
No?
Just wondering.
Posted by Bree at 10:05 AM | Comments (0)
July 16, 2008
Word to the Wise
Do not read books about ghosts before going to bed.
One would think I'd have learned my lesson by now. Yet years of watching Unsolved Mysteries at 2 in the morning and reading Stephen King (Cujo in the 2nd grade was a highlight) and Fate Magazine and the Time-Life series on the supernatural I begged my Nana to buy me and freaking myself the fig outta my mind about every last creak and grown in the 200-year old former NURSING HOME I was raised in (a house that's seen, um, probably about 40 deaths or so...give or take...some in my BEDROOM) didn't seem to take.
So last night, I'm innocently cruising through some Jodi Picoult book I stole from my mom's library and it turns out it's all about crazy ghosts in some sort of Alice Hoffman-way. I mean, not like super-spooky or anything - and silly in that it's all "Oh the sky is raining blood and rose petals but no one in town is that bothered because what the hey now, they live in Vermont" - but enough to make me sleep with the hall light on and get Deuce cuddled up close. Because I read until I literally cannot finish the sentence and have to put my book down mid-word (!), I fell asleep rather quickly. BUT THEN! At one in the morning, I awoke with a start, shook Deuce out of bed and got all the way downstairs before realizing what I was doing. Which was going to let a dog inside that doesn't exist. I even had him pictured in my mind. [Musical cue: ooohhweeeee-ooooooh.]
Now, to be hard-H honest, the sleepwalking and sleeptalking thing has been a constant in my life since I was in hard-H high school. For YEARS, I woke up in the kitchen or in the living room or - one memorable time - trying to get out of my apartment door on 69th street wearing, yes, just a t-shirt, but this was different than it's been in a long while. I was awake throughout the entire event, much like when I was growing up and would jump in the shower at about 2 in the morning and get midway through my ablutions until my dad knocked on the door and said, "Bree! It's the middle of the night!" Yes, fully awake but completely OUT OF IT at the same time.
Luckily as I've gotten all "Colorado, brah" about life, these incidents have decreased. Whereas I used to punctuate my sleep about once a week yelling, "NO NO NO" or sit straight up in bed gasping (guys love this), I now only occasionally freak Matt out with my midnight ramblings. (Like when I asked him recently if he was on fire. Dude, just wondering.) I don't know why I do these things; I swear no one has ever tried to murder me or molest me and I don't think I have a very conflicted psyche in general. I mean, I wish I did - it would explain a lot - but alas, a charmed life I've led. So, I think to continue this trend of mental wellness and sleep health, I need to cut back on the blood-n-ghosts before bed. This is sad as there's nothing I love more than getting myself worked up in a tizzy exactly 3 minutes before lying down but I hate losing control of my actions (unless my good friend alcohol is involved), and this is the ultimate loss of control - whether I'm completely asleep or awake and making bizarro choices.
Does anyone know where I can get my hands on a copy of "Chicken Soup for the Sole Proprietor's Soul?"
Posted by Bree at 03:07 PM | Comments (2)
Winters in Colorado
Kind of sums it up. Misanthrope I am, I did, in fact, talk with one of Bode Miller's coaches on the chairlift last year. I think he was, perhaps, taking the lift to a different trail than I. Regardless, he told me false information about moguls. Fucker.
Via the always wondrous Some E-cards
Posted by Bree at 10:21 AM | Comments (0)
July 15, 2008
Oh the Irony
I wrote a long post today about how I never write any long posts anymore and now it's done and left me. Points I remember:
I don't write long posts anymore.
This is because of a number of reasons.
These reasons include returning to a profession wherein I write for a living, falling in love and wanting to not drag my number one homeslice into the personal muckraking of my life, increased pressure due to increased readership.
Other highlights of the piece as remembered: an investigation into my longstanding stance regarding not overtly blogging negative stuff about former beaux, a conclusion that men, in general, are "private privateers" who are much less likely to spill the beans than the ladies, a rumination on what it would be like to be this sort of private privateer and be on the ass-end of a laissez faire lassie with a bone to pick and incredibly skillful typing capabilities, and a conclusion neatly summing up the twaining of private matters and personal blogging and the value of the latter when not determined by the former.
Then I showed my readers a cooter belonging to one Ms. Suzanne Somers:
http://view.break.com/536871 - Watch more free videos
Posted by Bree at 06:01 PM | Comments (3)
Now That's What I Call Good Viral
Posted by Bree at 01:49 PM | Comments (0)
July 12, 2008
Not Really Much More to Say Than...
Holy Fucking Shit (I reflect when I'm happy).
Oh and yes. So glad the Flashdance hoodie I borrowed from my brother tonight was immortalized. Such is this life.
Posted by Bree at 12:00 AM | Comments (1)
July 07, 2008
Travel Plans
After a lovely fourth of July weekend with Matt's family in Steamboat Springs (above) - and an epic FIVE-HOUR journey back to Denver (imagined image: shaking fist at I-70 traffic), I'm trying to get my assorted shit together to fly home to Massachusetts tomorrow. The travel is intense: out of the house at 6 a.m., 8 a.m. flight to Baltimore (where I never see McNulty no matter how hard I squeeze my eyes together and wish), layover, and then 3 p.m. flight to Albany. Egads.
Luckily for me, there's loads of fun stuff on the Northeastern docket. A day at the Brimfield Flea Market, a party at my brother's house, a day and night at Brooke's lake house in Vermont, and a weekend visit from Rick of Denver/Cambridge/NYC are among the highlights. Of course, seeing a fair amount of my besties, getting good sleeps in my childhood bedroom, lounging at the pool, fondling the horses, dogs and cats, running on dirt roads under tree canopies, and eating my weight in Archway molasses cookies also rank high.
So, I'll try to blog but as you see - I might be distracted by a preponderance of horse butt.
Posted by Bree at 01:56 PM | Comments (0)
July 03, 2008
Colories!
I've decided to celebrate Colorado's co-distinction as the skinniest state AND the largest beer producer in the nation with a semi-solid margarita made of tequila, lard, buttermilk, beer and sugar. Put down your bikes, shed your crampons, renounce your gym memberships and and join me, Colorado. Join me.
Posted by Bree at 01:18 PM | Comments (0)
July 02, 2008
Sad Truth
c/o Natalie Dee, the same artist who brought you (and me) the beloved hot dog eating hot dog painting seen in locales from Manhattan to Denver:
Yeah. That's all I got.
TGIASHORTWEEK.
Posted by Bree at 12:43 PM | Comments (0)
July 01, 2008
Phew...Dodged it Again
The second installation of Pecha Kucha is scheduled for Monday, July 14th at the Buntport. I'll be flying back from Massachusetts that night, so am sad to say I'll miss it. Less sad to say I won't be presenting again, but...alas...this fear of public speaking thing I've had since delivering a speech at my high school graduation seems to be here to stay. I can handle about a five-person crowd but anything over that and I stop breathing, which I've read can be harmful.
Posted by Bree at 11:56 AM | Comments (0)
A Friend With a Benefit
Readers! Use code "briggles" at Design By Humans for 20 percent off smoking cool t-shirts for the ladies and the germs. Do it, donuts!
Posted by Bree at 08:26 AM | Comments (0)