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February 05, 2008
Woke Up This Morning...Got Myself a Gun
Or, rather, I would've gotten myself a gun had I not had to head immediately to the far reaches of town to deal with the $180-fact that my windshield wipers had recalibrated themselves to turn "off" in the middle of the windshield. That's right - the middle...not nestled sweetly at the base like every other fucking windshield that ever existed. Trust me - I looked and, yup! I was the only one on the road with that sweet problem.
So yeah - speaking of recalibrate, I'm beginning to recalibrate my decision to buy European. I think I'm turning Japanese, I think I'm turning Japanese, I really think so as far as my next car purchase is concerned. In my life I've had a Saab (Swedish), an F-150 (American), a Lexus (Japanese) a Mercedes (German) and an Audi (German) and lo and behold, all this classy line-up of second-hand, gas-guzzling, piece of shitsicles has taught me is: A. it's possible to commute down CT's I-95 every summer weekend without air-conditioning on leather seats - possible, but not recommended for either your constitution or your romantic relationship and B. the Japanese know a thing or two about mechanical engineering. That ODL (Ole Dirty Lexus) up there was probably the most reliable and least break-downy of the bunch (AC excluded) and it was from 1990. My dad used to pick me up at boarding school in that beast! ODL! In fact, the fam just got rid of it last year. (What? We have a hard time letting go.) Teaches me to turn my back on the land of the rising sun. From now on it's Sapporo and unagi and Lexi/Toyoti. Them's my solemn vow.
Oh and PthefuckS: It totally drives me nuts how transparently gleeful people are when they hear about a nice car having to go into the shop. Thankfully, I'm lucky enough that I don't have to deal with too many complete a-holes during my day to day, so it's limited...but still. Me and my sensitive soul (read: paranoia) can just feel the excitement brewing. Put a lid on it. I don't get all giddy when somebody busts a heel off a Louboutin, so please, populace, I beg you to not get all giddy when my windshield wipers decide to sport a massive and unwieldy erection.
Posted by Bree at February 5, 2008 01:22 PM
Comments
The windshield wiper saga continues. They are secretly trying to kill you. Just so you know.
Posted by: RJM at February 5, 2008 03:38 PM
"...a massive and unwieldy erection." Why I heard that phrase just last night. In a totally different context.
Posted by: Matt Neely at February 5, 2008 04:40 PM