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January 31, 2008
Five Word Movie Review Thursday
Damn. It is that good.
Posted by Bree at 11:05 PM | Comments (2)
Buying the Stairway to Heaven
Exciting stuff, people! The last bit of unfinished drywall - and a thorn in my indecisive side - in the old casa has been covered with paint. Granted, this is exactly the part that's going to be covered with this wallpaper (in a different hue) in fairly short order (once I, er...scrape together the resources to buy the $190/double roll extravaganza!), but I'm still so excited that I like the color. I had the wallpaper sample matched at Sherwin Williams and will also paint the top half of the staircase with it to cut down on paper costs and give the eye a little rest from pattern fatigue. (Painting the bottom was necessary to see if I could dig the blue and to protect the overall look if the wallpaper ever shifts or shrinks.) I think I'll get away with only buying three rolls, so the whole thing will be about $1,000 - $1,200 including labor. Not too shabby!
Posted by Bree at 06:46 PM | Comments (0)
A.M. Dialogue: House Renovating Edition
Nate: "Have you seen Matt's caulk?
Bree: (pause)...Well...we have been dating a while.
[Cymbal]
Posted by Bree at 11:35 AM | Comments (0)
She's (Not At All) Crafty: Valentine's Edition
I think this would be easy to make, even for an uncoordinated clod like myself. Idea and picture ganked from Delight.com, where they're charging something like 20 bones for this cute little piece of nothing.
See you at the Depot.
Posted by Bree at 10:46 AM | Comments (0)
You Are Beautiful...and I am Too!
Have you guys seen this "You Are Beautiful" art project? Seems they're trying to spread the message that yes, we are all beautiful. Even without tattooed eyeliner and ass implants. Awww! (Tend to disagree but) Awww!
Best part is, you can order or download free stickers HERE to plaster your neighbor's car, wallpaper a small room or glue to your face. Which would be beautiful indeed.
Posted by Bree at 10:23 AM | Comments (0)
January 30, 2008
A "Dear Everyone" Addendum
Howly mowly - I don't think anything I've EVER written has garnered this much attention. And that includes each and every one of the press materials and radio spots for the Snuggle Fabric Softener "Unleash Your Inner Bear" nationwide karaoke contest of 2005. My Dad even called me this morning to vehemently discuss the anti-two spaces legislation bill. Some so-called private excerpts from the e-mail inbox:
"I read your blog and realized I'm a terrible writer. I always use % and write out every number. I'm printing your rules and posting them on my office wall. Oh, sh*t. Two spaces between my sentences in this email. I suck."
-and-
"I wholly subscribe to almost all of your comments in your most recent post. I know that punctuation is almost always within the quotation marks. I know you should always write the numbers one through nine. I know what i.e. and e.g. represent. I elect not to punctuate bulleted items, even if they are complete sentences (a period on the last bullet looks out of place and stupid). However, I will NEVER stop inserting two spaces after a period. "NEVER"!!! 100% of the time I will include 2 spaces! This is the way I have always done it and I need to actually hear the double-click at the end of a sentence. A brief joy, a small staccato clap for a job well done. I need it and will never let it go."
Dialogue from last night:
Matt - "If you can understand it, who gives a shit?"
Bree - "I give a shit. It's my job to give a shit." [Insert WEEP.]
Good times. And, by the by, just because I care about these things on a professional (or para-professional) level doesn't mean this blog won't be rife with grammatical errors, misspellings and redundancies. As I've always said, you can lead a horse to water - but that doesn't mean he'll know how to properly use a semi-colon in every instance.
Neigh.
Posted by Bree at 12:44 PM | Comments (7)
Plagiarizing Myself
I wrote the following brief sales copy outlining my department's e-capabilities a few e-years back when I was working in a gigunds PR company in e-NY. I think I shall steal it from myself and use (the good parts of) it in the marketing consulting materials I'm developing to get some more clients on the docket. That's how I roll - all street urchin-like.
Creating effective online advertising and editorial copy presents challenges unforeseen ten years ago. Working with Interactive Solutions, Editorial Services has adapted traditional composition skills to this new media model and developed fluency in the e-market. We bring understanding, skill and motivation to the long- and short-term tasks of engaging audiences in the 21st century.
The Editorial Services team has built a comprehensive portfolio of successful new media campaigns for accounts ranging from pharmaceutical to consumer to corporate. We offer a diverse scope of services, tailored for each client's specific budget and time frame, and easily adaptable to any special needs. And, in addition to appreciating the tone and language necessary to effectively target an online audience, our staff is adept at writing content in styles as diverse as our client base.
Whether your client needs to build online presence from the ground up, supplement existing material, or reach targeted audiences through direct communications, Editorial Services will craft, develop and produce content to meet any need.
When you think "E"—think "Effective", think "Excellence", think "Editorial Services".
Or think ecstasy.
Whatever, you know.
Posted by Bree at 12:28 PM | Comments (0)
Dear Everyone,
See my point?
Thanks!
Bree
PS "Impactful" and "Impactfulness" are NOT words. Grrrrr.
Posted by Bree at 12:21 PM | Comments (0)
January 29, 2008
Dear Everyone,
Please do me a favor and STOP inserting two spaces after a period. Modern type formatting does not require this. Additionally, it is a pain in this editor's ass to go into your documents and fix it.
Other tips:
In AP usage, it's "Web site."
Punctuation is always within quotation marks.
Write out numbers one through nine; use the numerical equivalent for anything above nine unless you're using a number to start a sentence.
ALWAYS write out "percent." There is never a cause to use the % key in proper writing.
Capitalize any title word with four letters or more.
i.e. means "in other words." e.g. means "for example." Always place a comma after both i.e. and e.g., (i.e., like that).
Enormity is not synonymous with immensity, rather it implies a magnitude of immoral behavior or action.
Punctuation in bulleted lists is a personal matter; use when you feel it's appropriate (e.g., when you are bulleting full sentences). Another option is to not put a period after any bulleted item until the very last one.
Thanks!
Bree
Posted by Bree at 02:17 PM | Comments (7)
I Sent This Tip In Anonymously to Gawker...
but yeah, the Modern Loves column is totally talking about Rob Lowe.
And the Williamstown Theater Festival.
Holla!
PS: Best Gawker comment - "It was Rob Lowe in Williamstown, Massachusetts, where starfuckery rules!" Well, maybe for some. The closest I ever got was drooling over Tim Robbins as I handed him a medium coffee ice cream in a cup with chocolate sprinkles. Or drooling over that dude from Dexter and Six Feet Under at Heather's rehearsal night party at Mezze. Or tailing Scott Wolf on Spring Street. Or laughing when Kerri Ann heckled David Schwimmer at Side Bar. Or waving at Christopher Reeve every morning when he drove past my bus stop. Or giving Sigourney Weaver water for her dog (gratis). But my brother famously turned down Gwyneth Paltrow's invitation to share a sleeping bag at Camp Sasparilla, so I guess he wins loses the starfuckery challenge.
Posted by Bree at 12:57 PM | Comments (1)
January 28, 2008
Good Stuff (Thanks, Dad!)
The Future by Wesley McNair
On the afternoon talk shows of America
the guests have suffered life's sorrows
long enough. All they require now
is the opportunity for closure,
to put the whole thing behind them
and get on with their lives. That their lives,
in fact, are getting on with them even
as they announce their requirement
is written on the faces of the younger ones
wrinkling their brows, and the skin
of their elders collecting just under their
set chins. It's not easy to escape the past,
but who wouldn't want to live in a future
where the worst has already happened
and Americans can finally relax after daring
to demand a different way? For the rest of us,
the future, barring variations, turns out
to be not so different from the present
where we have always lived--the same
struggle of wishes and losses, and hope,
that old lieutenant, picking us up
every so often to dust us off and adjust
our helmets. Adjustment, for that matter,
may be the one lesson hope has to give,
serving us best when we begin to find
what we didn't know we wanted in what
the future brings. Nobody would have asked
for the ice storm that takes down trees
and knocks the power out, leaving nothing
but two buckets of snow melting
on the wood stove and candlelight so weak,
the old man sitting at the kitchen table
can hardly see to play cards. Yet how else
but by the old woman's laughter
when he mistakes a jack for a queen
would he look at her face in the half-light as if
for the first time while the kitchen around them
and the very cards he holds in his hands
disappear? In the deep moment of his looking
and her looking back, there is no future,
only right now, all, anyway, each one of us
has ever had, and all the two of them,
sitting together in the dark among the cracked
notes of the snow thawing beside them
on the stove, right now will ever need.
Posted by Bree at 08:24 PM | Comments (0)
Small Town, Small Industry
The guy who I met with (via Zane and Leith) to talk over my career options in D-town Down just got profiled by the Denver Egotist. Very cool dude with some very cool ideas; worth reading if you have any interest in creative industries. This, in particular, sticks out given the business plan I'm currently hashing out in ME MIND:
"Clients need so much more these days than even 5 years ago. They want and need help with every facet of their business, not just advertising." Amen!
I also like this one:
"I’m baffled and fed up with people thinking Denver and this region is a crap hole. There is brilliant work being done here by agencies and the artists and talent who produce it. I love it here and I have many friends that are doing well, winning awards, making a living and enjoying the life we get to have here. There are crappy agencies and assholes in every market. Dan Wieden doesn’t lay awake worried about how bad the agency down the street is."
Posted by Bree at 06:29 PM | Comments (0)
OMG Briggles in the Extreme
In my current guise of a non-profit branding consultant from an investment-y family with a penchant for Youtube clips and gang* rap, must say I relate to a lot of this. Especially the Birkenstock cleats. Thanks, Rick!
Posted by Bree at 04:52 PM | Comments (2)
And Now for a Word from Crüe
Posted by Bree at 03:47 PM | Comments (2)
Momma Long Legs
Hey ANP (and other ladies with inseams hovering in the realm of "Holy shit, that's ridiculous...sexy, but yeah - mainly ridiculous")! New workout pants place = Lululemon.
Angela and I sojourned there for a brief visit Saturday morning, from which I walked away with two pairs of size 8 TALL reverse groove pants. At least I think that's what they were. Expensive as a mofo, true, but considering I find and buy workout pants that fit my go-go-gadget legs about once every four years, I managed to talk myself into it. The idea of buying Matt an $85 pair of Valentine's Day trousers for his kung fu class, however, made me laugh and laugh and then laugh some more as I sauntered around Cherry Creek with my Frappucino, Juicy track suit, and Louis Vuitton tote.
Posted by Bree at 02:11 PM | Comments (0)
Why Do Birds Suddenly Appear?
Posted by Bree at 01:59 PM | Comments (2)
Tis a Gift to Be Simple
But it's also a gift to get some kickass Adirondack chairs HANDMADE just for you and your sweet, sweet buns by your besties! Thanks Marie and Matt! Forget plastics, the future's in chairs.
"It is here where I will rest while contemplating my horse skull and LP holder backslash table," mused Bree.
Posted by Bree at 01:48 PM | Comments (2)
Reverse Schadenfreude
I just found out a guy I dated directed a very cool video for one of my all-time *favorite* bands, The Diamond Nights. I don't know what more to say about this other than I hate it when dudes I've frenched go on to achieve greatness rather than curling up in some hole in the desert bemoaning the loss of such a chick as me. Granted, this whole desert-living, "Why didn't she loooove me?! She was soooooo awesome and hot and totally skinny and had the best taste in bedding - not that I saw it, Mr. N*ely!" scenario would've knocked out a fair percentage of the creative class of New York City.
I guess humanity has me to thank for not inspiring a generation of talented, hiply shod Big Apple eaters to lives of intellectual stagnation.
You're WELCOME.
Weird Update: I just reread that entry I linked to above, and realized that when I said the drummer looked like a guy I had dated, I was referring to THE GUY WHO DIRECTED THIS. Whoa, world - youze crazy and shit.
Posted by Bree at 09:44 AM | Comments (0)
January 27, 2008
Yum
I think I've found the wallpaper for my front hall. Portobello from Rapture & Wright. I'm still a little torn on the color, as I'm worried it will take away from (or clash with) the crazy blue in my dining room. Though, as Matt pointed out, you'd never see the two colors directly at the same time unless you were - you know, a hammerhead, it's still worrisome.
Solution? I need to paint underneath where the wallpaper is going anyway (in case it shifts or comes a little bit away from the wall or something) so I'm going to hit up Sherwin Williams and have the wallpaper matched tomorrow and then have the walls painted this week. (This whole dating a contractor thing really has its benefits in terms of being linked in to a wide variety of skilled boy-persons looking for home improvement jobs.) So anyways. Those of you who've been here or talked to me about this know that this decision on the front hall has taken me almost a year so, suffice it - very stoked to be making progress.
Posted by Bree at 09:50 PM | Comments (0)
January 26, 2008
Dad, This One's for You
Posted by Bree at 08:06 AM | Comments (0)
January 25, 2008
Video/Song From the Alliteratively Alluring Apple Air Ad
Posted by Bree at 10:20 PM | Comments (1)
Neckless Children Find Relief, Acceptance in Finnish Accordian Industry
Juuso from Taipalsaari
Sanna from Äänekoski
Julia from Sievi
Entry inspiration stolen from Capt. Spicer, who would also like to point out the Finnish Lindsay Buckingham and Stevie Nicks:
"No, I said YOU can go YOUR OWN way. Now, where is that cup of Glögi and my assistant? I need her to blow it up my ass."
Posted by Bree at 03:44 PM | Comments (0)
Oh the Mems
From New Zealand's brillig new drinking awareness campaign featured on NotCot. Stick a couple skyscrapers outside and I think I spent a good deal of my 20's in that conference room - underneath that wine glass. Better dressed, though.
Posted by Bree at 11:20 AM | Comments (1)
Boxer Meet Up
When: Saturday, January 26 at 1:00PM
Who: At least 29 Boxer Lovers (plus me, Marie, Stella [aka STINKS] and Deuce [aka BEDHOG])
Where: Canine Corral
4848 S. Windermere on the west side of Bellview Park
Englewood, CO 80110
Posted by Bree at 08:48 AM | Comments (1)
January 24, 2008
Appetite for Destruction
The Gunners cover band Appetite for Destruction will be playing the Fox Theater in Boulder on February 28. This will be, like, the closest thing I've seen to the full-on totally Out Ta Get Me five-some since I, uh, drunkenly watched Axl's briefly reformed Gn'R (replete with Buckethead!) at Madison Square Garden oh so many years ago, as well as a juicy complement to the Slash autobiography I'm currently glued to. Did you know his Mom dated David Bowie?! And that he likes TITS!? Wonders, do me a favor and keep on never ceasing.
Tickets are about $12 and available here.
Not Appetite for Destruction.
Posted by Bree at 03:29 PM | Comments (2)
Squid Merch
c/o the lovely Suzanna (in the highest), here are some squidadelic t's from Malicious Glee:
[UPDATE: Matt thought my comment here was kind of mean. He also didn't get all the ANTM references, so the true essence of the quip was lost on him. Regardless, I hate being mean to people outside of my family and close friends, so I've deleted it and am wearing a hairshirt for the rest of the month in penance. Lucky for me, it's January. Unlucky for me? It's nutria hair. Covered in insulation fibers.]
I'll take the men's green, size M.
In other Girls Love Giant Squid (GLGS) news, as of January 12, 2008, the GLGS delegates have elected John Stossel as our official Spokestossel. Expect the press release any day now.
###
Posted by Bree at 02:04 PM | Comments (0)
Not to Split Hairs Here...
My candle burns at both ends
It will not last the night
But ah, my foes, and oh, my friends -
It gives a lovely light.
She shoots, she scores! Game point to MILLAY!
Then again, this is the same guy who was...uh...imprisoned for $1.5 million worth of tax evasion and who knows how those "Po'try in the Pokey" programs so lauded in the mid-90's are faring.
And now, for a semi-related Raising Arizona clip:
Posted by Bree at 12:22 PM | Comments (1)
Donald Judd or Cheap Furniture?
Little quiz to test your knowledge on particle board crap versus great art crap. (I got a 92! A- all the way!) Similarities are striking. No offense there, Judd. Or the Ghost of Don Judd, as the case apparently is.
In other, related, news: Marfa, Marfa, Marfa!
(Link via How About Orange). Must say I'm surprised that neither the author of that blog nor some of her commenteers have heard of the Judd. Then again, I've never heard of Tumbir Tumblr. So judge not, lest ye be Lesty Molesty.
Posted by Bree at 10:43 AM | Comments (4)
January 23, 2008
Comments is Back, Bitchez!
Get up in that shit before the spam/fear of unpopularity makes me close her down again.
Do it.
Posted by Bree at 10:18 PM | Comments (6)
Behind the Tumbs
Why is it that TODAY there have been, like, 60 references to people's Tumblr pages in my Google Reader? WTF is Tumbir? I feel like Brenda Walsh in the first season of 90210 - TOTALLY OUT OF THE LOOP with regards to the cool folk. I'm going to comfort myself with this (except, obviously!, with a slightly edited chorus):
Note: I went to school in the second grade dressed as Boy George (with braids, roach clips, ribbons, fetching fedora - the whole works...and it wasn't Halloween. Rather, I think it was Tuesday. The best part? Cathy H*lland told me senior year that she was so totally pissed off at me because she thought I had gotten the upper hand in the second-grade-girl competition for Boy's love. Which I clearly had.
UPDATE: It is Tumblr, not Tumbir. As if I needed to tell you that.
Posted by Bree at 04:36 PM | Comments (0)
January 19, 2008
All Official and Stuff
Matt and I are going to Roatan!!! The two of us'll be jetting out of this snowy burg to that sunny isle on April 26 and returning on May 3. We'll be staying in our own cabana at Villagio Verde, the subject of many ridiculously effusive Trip Advisor comments, and snorkeling, swimming, boozing and carousing throughout the entirety of Matt's first vacation away from Los Estados. Coincidentally - or, actually, not at all since I was in charge of planning - this trip is exactly 7 years TO THE DAY after my trip to Belize with Allison and Marie. Awesome, awesome, awesome as we had the *BEST* weather, no sand flies and no tourists to contend with on that trip. Seems the end of April is after tourist season but before rainy season in Central America, so it's all bueno.
Posted by Bree at 09:57 AM | Comments (0)
January 18, 2008
Five Word Movie Review Friday
Good minus the crushing depression.
Posted by Bree at 09:37 PM | Comments (0)
Speaking of Flickr...
This picture just showed up on my "Everyone's Photos" randomizer. It makes me giggle. That woman is all, "I'm outtttaaa heeeyah" (RIP: The State.) and the other woman is all serene...and nude. Kind of like the chick in The Shining. Just sayin'.
Posted by Bree at 02:43 PM | Comments (0)
spaceball.gif
I am riveted by this riveter.
The Library of Congress has added sumthin'-like 3,000 copyright-free, public domain images to its Flickr account. No word yet if the Library of Congress is trying to use Flickr as a dating site (verboten!) or if they too, like the guy who favorited my SUPER SHITTY Rush camera phone shots this morning, will soon favorite my SUPER SHITTY Rush camera phone shots.
Posted by Bree at 01:03 PM | Comments (0)
Do You Know the Street Value of This Mountain?!
In case you're still wondering why I moved to Colorado, it wasn't to buy the best house ever, start the best business ever, get the best dog ever, cuddle with the best cat ever or meet the best boy ever, it was actually to enjoy my surroundings. The other stuff = gravy. Big, hairy, sheddy gravy. Anys, up there's a snap (taken by Matt's cousin) of all the snow in Steamboat. All the snow my family will be gliding down come February break. Whee! Snow! Whee! Colorful Colorado! All right - that's it. Back to Werk.
Posted by Bree at 09:01 AM | Comments (0)
I Know They're for the Kidlets
But I covet regardless. Elizabeth Soule photographs at Mahar Drygoods.
Posted by Bree at 08:53 AM | Comments (0)
Guest Room Coming Together Etc. Etc. and Amen
Ahmagod. Wednesday night, the durlin' Angela and I busted our respective humps to get the drywall primer up and at 'em in the guest room. Only problem being we forgot to open any windows or, really, even the door, so found ourselves totally headachy and nauseated and STYMIED as to why that could possibly be..? It wasn't until we breaked for Project Runway (and dericious pasta with OMG-that-shit's-spicy-sausage prepared by the boy for his working ladeez), and breathed the (relative) fresh air of my living room that we realized our...uh...mistake. Genius comes in pairs, as they say.
Regardless, many giggles, much smoothing over of the primer - which had the annoying tendency to broadcast the nap of the roller and thus undo the several thousand dollars I had spent to get that room skim-coated and smooth...sweet! - and the occasional accidental face + roller event (sorry, Angela!) and we were done. And by done, I mean DONE. Though the plans were to paint the actual color (Benjamin Moore #1486) Thursday and tonight as well, I caved in a fit of "FINISH MY FUCKING HOUSE" yesterday morning (pre-coffee), and decided to hire Matt's roommate to knock it out today.
Fuggit, man. I just got an enuermo project at work, with a super tight deadline (design and build a DIFFERENT new web site, 2 tri-fold brochures, counter cards, a sponsorship campaign and media outreach oh by...hmm...let's see, how 'bout if it's DONE AND DONE by February 12?), which means - yippee! I actually am going to have some relatively serious cheddz to spend, but HOLY CARP. Pass the Xanax. And the Immodium. And the meth. And the comfy socks. THX.
So, right. Point of this post. The guest room is coming together and the study is NEARLY DONE!!!! Matt got the shelves up yesterday and they look so amazing. 100 feet of built-ins for my books and tchotkes! Ahhh! So, rather than going out to Gabors and getting shnookered as I'm wont to do, I corralled myself into organizing and unpacking all my books and wow...after separating out the ones I've never read, looks like this girl won't be hitting Barnes & Noble any time soon. HOWLY MOWLY. If you're feeling the budgetary crunch - but need some good entertainment - I suggest you also pull out the "unreads." It made me feel like I'd just gotten a bomb-ass present. A bomb-ass present by the name of THE DICTATORS (below):
A mere swath of the bomb-ass bounty
Posted by Bree at 08:23 AM | Comments (0)
January 16, 2008
Is Freedom Chaos?
Oh man. There are now three rooms in my relatively petite compound in total disarray. The guest bedroom is all ready for painting with Angela (not ever to be known as Mangela even though she's totes in charge of her local dry cleaner this week) tonight and tomorrow (the baseboards were handled with great aplomb by me yesterday); the study is still desperately awaiting final shelf installation; the upstairs office is full of crrrrap, including a mattress and a couple dozen pillows, and - hell - even the hallway is stacked with books. This makes me all :(-face. Though I know by this time next week, the casa will be smokin' cool - it's very difficult to live and work in all this disorder and mess. wah.
Posted by Bree at 08:46 AM | Comments (0)
January 15, 2008
I Love Both Diane Keaton and Her Lips
Posted by Bree at 05:44 PM | Comments (0)
Carl and Andrew Got Hitched!
Apparentements, the boys went down to City Hall yesterday and registered for domestic pardnership! Congratulations and best wishes to the coolest two-est e'er seen in the Red Hook hive. Seeing that this is the first marriage of a styley gay couple I've ever had the pleasure of celebrating, I'm thinking a trip to Moss is in order. That and...uh...a second job. But enough about me...CONGRATULATIONS TO YOUUUU!!!
Posted by Bree at 03:09 PM | Comments (0)
January 14, 2008
Not So Welcome in This Dollhouse (aka: What Would Ibsen Do?)
I'm totally ganking this content from BB Blog (which is in the top five on my daily read list...right behind Hot or Not), but as a devoted fan of The Wire, dollhouses and crack (not necessarily in that order), I absolutely had to share. Apparently, dollhouse maker extraordinare Grace Shaw has made a series of dioramas depicting a Baltimore Row House.
It's hard to narrow down a favorite, so here's three:
Stoned naked guy in tub
"If you look closely, there are the tiny crack bottles they sell on the street, a line of coke ready to snort, money and syringes on the table." (Just like my house! - ed.)
Crackhouse Exterior (note gigunds cheeba cheeba!)
Posted by Bree at 05:43 PM | Comments (0)
Five Things I Learned From Wiki-How
Excerpted from the article Care for a Corn Snake
1. You should provide a bowl of water for your snake, big enough for it to soak if it wishes.
2. Inbreeding is best avoided.
3. It is best to feed your snake on frozen/thawed mice as they will not injure it and it's much more humane. You can also keep frozen mice for longer as they will not grow or die. To feed, hold the prey item in the tweezers and wiggle it in front of your snake.
4. Do not handle a snake after it’s eaten for 48 hours. Wash your hands before and after handling your snake. If it struggles, do not put it back but persevere or it will never learn to be friendly.
5. When your snake’s eyes glass over it’s time for it to shed...You may want to measure and laminate the shed as a record.
Vom.
Posted by Bree at 12:35 PM | Comments (0)
Headline of the Day
Moviegoers Find Uplift In Jack Nicholson And Morgan Freeman's Slow Deaths
Though many critics have dismissed the Jack Nicholson/Morgan Freeman dying-buddy flick as shameless, tear-jerking treacle, we found ourselves unexpectedly moved by the film. We'll even admit--more than a little sheepishly--to misting up at a late third-act plot twist we never saw coming [spoilers follow]:
While laying in bed in their shared hospital room, finally ready for death following the completion of their "bucket list," Freeman reveals to his globe-trotting partner that he is, in fact, God, and that if the anxious Nicholson will allow himself to drift off to sleep, he'll awaken the next morning completely cancer-free and ready to enjoy several more years of life. Nicholson, though skeptical at first, eventually accepts that his traveling companion is his Maker (there's even a knowing mention of Freeman's resemblance to the deity of Evan Almighty), closes his eyes, and is gently snoring within seconds. Convinced that he's safely asleep, Freeman rises, pillow in hand, and snuffs out his gullible roommate, whispering as Nicholson's arms quickly cease flailing, "You never should've fucking laughed at me for being afraid to jump out of that plane on our skydiving trip. Who's not so brave in the face of death now, you miserable old bastard?"
(via the always awesome Defamer)
Posted by Bree at 11:57 AM | Comments (0)
January 13, 2008
I Do! I Do!
Nut and bolt wedding bands from Kiley Granberg (via Notcot) make me totally want to, you know, buy the cow.
Posted by Bree at 10:17 PM | Comments (0)
January 11, 2008
The Sultriest Sobriquet
Leland.
Nusty Leland.
Posted by Bree at 06:30 PM | Comments (0)
Whoa, Whoa, WHOA!
Remember when I bought this little lovely all the way back in August?
Seems someone with a fully engaged cerebral cortex has thought to turn it into a wallpaper:
How cool! I feel, like, I don't know - partially responsible for this brilliance. I know, I know, how is it that a girl from the valleys of western Massachusetts could be so influential on the international design scene? I too am stymied. And sadly also feel it would be impossible to collect a commission on this, no matter how deserved. Indeed, I can't even buy the stuff (questionable orangey color notwithstanding) as, of course, I have put a moratorium on bird imagery in the old casa. It's beginning to feel like an aviary around here and the flying turds AREN'T HELPING. Chirp.
Posted by Bree at 08:26 AM | Comments (0)
January 10, 2008
And the Gifts Just Keep-a Coming
The Roman Goddess Flora embodies the flowering of all Nature
Mr. Brown Shorts just brought me a surprise package from Rick! Seems somebody got the memo re: my REAL gift list (Amazon somehow has also held on to one from late 2002, meaning my Christmas was chock full of Black Eyed Peas and The Lovely Bones - whee!) and bought me Slash's autobiography! No! Way! As a delightful bonus, he also included the disturbingly titled - and conceived - "Coloring Book for Big Girls," along with the note: "Because when I think of Bree, I think of two things: artist and ecofeminist."
"It must be my lax attitude towards shaving that inspires such platitudes," she ruminated.
Thanks, Ricke*!!!!! You get the TOTAL TITS award for today, January 10, 2008!
Special Bonus Review:
This isn't a coloring book for everyone. If you're at all offended by pagan-type images, don't bother with it. There are amazon and goddess images all the way through. A number of the images are also nude or semi-nude.
Bo-honus!
Posted by Bree at 02:41 PM | Comments (0)
Beginning to Get Very Disconcerted About This World: Headline Edition
Find all these (and more!) on MSNBC:
- Man spots wife during visit to brothel
- Man stabs self with knives in pants
- Idaho man amputates, microwaves hand
- Probation for mailing cow head to wife’s lover (excerpt: Jason Michael Fife "understands that in a civilized society a person cannot send a severed cow's head to anybody," said his defense lawyer, Henry Hilles.)
- Boy glues hand to bed to avoid school
- Green pig gives birth to glowing piglets (Mmm, Radioaco Bits...)
- Meet a real-life ‘Blue Man’
Posted by Bree at 12:04 PM | Comments (0)
January 09, 2008
Weekend Purchases
City Mission Wall Bracket x 2 with 4-inch shades from Rejuvenation
Parchment Glass Table Lamp (undecided if hideoooz or not) from Acacia
Large sweater storage boxes x 3 (pretty firm on the "not hideoooz" declaration but could conceivably be swayed) from Acacia
Reservation at The super-haunted Stanley Hotel (where they *supposedly* filmed the interiors of The Shining but which was *definitely* the inspiration behind it!) for early September.* We'll be there to hit up the Longs Peak Scottish Irish Festival! That's my blood, bicches!
One of the weekend highlights is the hour-long parade on Elkhorn Avenue, Estes Park’s main street. Bagpipes, drummers, dancers, clans in tartan, Dogs of the British Isles, brass military bands and precision drill teams give a preview of what can be seen on the festival field.
*Reservation subsidized by generous gift certificate from Marie! Thanks, lady!
Posted by Bree at 12:35 PM | Comments (0)
Headline of the Day c/o My #1 Broseph
Mr. Pennski, We Blow You for Rubles, Nyet?
Though Sean Penn and soon-to-be ex-wife Robin Wright remain tight-lipped about the events leading to their breakup, Star Magazine reveals the sordid details of their last weekend together.
It all started innocently enough, according to the magazine, with an intended romantic getaway in Lake Tahoe, Calif. The couple checked in to the Squaw Valley resort just days before Christmas, but sources said Sean didn’t request couple-friendly accommodations.
“Sean didn’t spend much time with his wife — he booked her a separate suite — and when Robin got fed up with being alone, she went over to his suite,” an insider revealed. There, she “found him drunk with two Russian girls!”
Posted by Bree at 09:19 AM | Comments (0)
January 08, 2008
Inbox: Special "Oh It is ONNNNN!" Edition
From: Duffy
To: Bree
Date: Jan 8, 2008 9:07 AM
Subject: I beg to differ
Bree,
Couldn't see where the comment section was on the website but just wanted to comment about the shot you fired across the bow regarding the scotch eggs/pepperoni bread debate. While a man of leisure like myself can truly appreciate the cholesterol quotient of the scotch eggs, my bread has cheese! Plus it looks like Pepperoni Bread is easier to make, which is of great consequence to a man of leisure such as myself. If you want to make them next time you're home, I'll more than happily partake, but for now, I'm gonna dance with the girl that brung me.
all the best,
duffy
Posted by Bree at 09:29 PM | Comments (0)
Greetings and Salutations
To all of you coming over here from the post about my so-called color anality on Design Boner, welcome. Welcome to the sad, sodden world of a girl who gargles with indecision and flosses with regret. I also like to drink fluids of all sorts, slow waaaay down in front of tailgaters and obsessively document every happening of my life on this here Internet. Example: last night I made the bold choice to sleep with no shirt or bra on. This morning, I found one of my dog's dark, gooey eye boogers perched on my boob. As I wiped it off, the song "99 Problems" by Jay-Z sprung to mind, and I sang rapped: "I've got 99 problems but a boog ain't one." True story.
So yes. This is the kind of breaking information that can be found on my web site. Again, welcome.
Posted by Bree at 07:35 PM | Comments (0)
January 07, 2008
David Lynch on iPhone
Thanks, El!
Posted by Bree at 05:28 PM | Comments (0)
Super-Derishous Balls
Visually repugnant
Matt Grubbbbbes made Scotch Eggs for The Ball Ball ('07) and man oh man, in a word they were delectaball. To the point that after overcoming my initial revulsion regarding their look and ingredients, I handily sucked down about four. Then I went and put on a pair of Spanx. And considered moving to a country where fat is celebrated. I'm looking at you, Samoa!
I'm not sure if this is the exact recipe, but search around if you're so inclined. Trust your girl in breakfast over here, these sausage and stuffing covered eggs are worth the effort and the ensuant arm cellulite.
(4 servings)
* 1 pound bulk pork sausage 
* 1 tablespoon fresh parsley -- chopped
* 1 tablespoon grated onion
* 1/4 teaspoon ground cinnamon
* 1/8 teaspoon ground nutmeg
* 4 hard-cooked eggs -- shelled
* 1/2 cup fine dry breadcrumbs
Combine sausage, parsley, onion, cinnamon and nutmeg; mix well. Divide sausage mixture into 4 portions; shape into patties. Place one egg atop each patty, shaping the sausage mixture around egg till completely covered. Roll each sausage-covered egg in breadcrumbs. Bake in a preheated 350 degree F. oven for 15-20 minutes until golden brown.
Duffy - I think these lard-laced lovies might best your vaunted HOLIDAY SALAMI BAGUETTE. Just sayin'.
Posted by Bree at 10:14 AM | Comments (0)
January 04, 2008
Pitcher Perfect
Though hints were dropped like a sheet of acid all o'er this holiday season regarding my *soon to start* vintage pitcher collection, I received nary a one from all those supposed friends and loved ones. MOAN.
So, like the womyn of the wyrld I pyrpyrt to be, I've taken it upon myself to buy me own danged detritus. Behold above care of Etsy seller White Elephant Vintage for a mere 26 dubloons. Bonus: the sellers operate a smokin' little blog called "Love It A Lot" that is well worth your time on this glorious Friday.
Posted by Bree at 09:49 AM | Comments (0)
January 03, 2008
Five Word Movie Review Thursday
Once
A big lovely music video!
Posted by Bree at 09:41 PM | Comments (0)
January 02, 2008
Fuck Factoring: News From the Contractor
Matt just walked into the living room (where I am writing a soon-to-be-Pulitzered piece on "What to Do if Your Loved One Resists Care"...ah...) and announced, "Yep - I'd have to give this mantel a fuck factor of four." When I innocently questioned what, precisely, he was referring to he explained: "Well, when you build a bed, you have to give it a fuck factor. Like a ten would be crazy monkey sex. You know, 250-pound midgets jumping up and down on each other. Or, like, a six or a seven would be...I don't know, pillow fights and stuff. So, yeah, your mantel is a four. Just hanging on."
In other news, the wallpaper installer is coming on Wednesday! No word yet on his fuck factor but that study is about to be done and donuts. I'll keep you pasted.
Posted by Bree at 02:01 PM | Comments (0)
Once I Pass'd Through a Populous City
A perhaps incomplete list of all the places I overnighted in in ought-7
Williamstown, MA*
New York, NY*
Brooklyn, NY*
Scarsdale, NY*
Lake McConnaughey, NE*
Fairplay, CO*
Keystone, CO*
Lafayette, CO*
Beaver Creek, CO
Miami, FL
Key West, FL
Santa Fe, NM
London, England*
Barcelona, Spain
Asterices (?) indicate cities visited more than once.
Here's last year's tally.
Posted by Bree at 09:55 AM | Comments (0)
New Year's Resolutions
In 2008, I resolve to listen to more Master of Puppets-era Metallica. I resolve to to pick out paint colors for my guest room, dresser and mantel and look into the benefits/drawbacks of fabric softener. I resolve to update my ipod more frequently, respond to e-mails with gusto and be much more vigilant in the leg shaving category. I resolve to take vitamins and stop eating cereal three times a day. I resolve to visit Liz and Nick in Sydney in the fall and actually buy condoms rather than relying on the vanilla and orange UTI specials brought to me free by Planned Parenthood.
I also resolve to figure out this whole "career thing."
And buy a new couch.
Posted by Bree at 09:39 AM | Comments (0)