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August 24, 2007
Metafurs
Taking out the trash tonight, I stopped to notice and admire this magnificent vine that's growing over my back fence. Covered in big clusters of purple and green grapes, it was resting peacefully in the twilight [such schlock - ed.] in such a way that I ran back in to grab my (recently reinstated) 35mm for a few snaps. Midway through the little shoot, I began following the trails of the plant with my eyes to find different angles. Doing so, I realized the vine had spread far beyond the rails of the fence and was actually wrapped insidiously around several branches of a nearby apple tree. I was a little shocked by how alien these grasping green tentacles were; how flagrantly officious. They were like little boa constrictors wrapped around each branch. This pretty, fragrant vine - which moments earlier, I had been admiring and cooing over in a state of Coloradoan bliss - was conducting an assault on my tree. This beautiful, alluring thing was trying to take over.
I put the camera on the ground and ripped and tore the vine down with my hands. Then I went into the alley and pulled it down from that side. I filled two trash cans with probably 40 lbs. of plant. The road back there is stained with grape juice; there are berries scattered all over. But it was the pleasure I found in the process of tearing this monstrous growth apart that was the most surprising. I must admit, I haven't been that satisfied in a while. I haven't been that certain in a while.
The metaphor in it all is clear: I'm feeling choked by the pretty things. And I am. Myself chief among the offenders. Myself perhaps the only offender. I've found recently that I've gotten back into the habit of nodding "Yes" when I'm not sure I mean it. Thus, I've gotten back into the habit of feeling trapped by my own acquiescence, by my own passivity - a state of being I'm never comfortable with. I've gotten back into the habit of saying, "I should" rather than "I want." And I've gotten back into the habit of dealing with my own limitations by withdrawing.
Time to rip it all down, I suppose.
Back there and in here.
Dang, cuz. This growing up business ain't for sissies.
Or grape lovers.
Posted by Bree at August 24, 2007 07:36 PM