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May 10, 2006
In Wino Veritas
Seeing as I haven't devoted an entry to anything beyond slagging good friends or cutting and pasting from Orbitz e-mails for a bit, I think it's time to clue in the intelligentsia readerensia to what's been a-haps in the world of building the Sweet and Bitter bidness. 
You know - one of the reasons behind this blog?
Besides, I mean, Johnny Cake updates.
Naturally.
For the last several days, I've been working at the coffee shop/wine bar Capuvino, located a mere 10 minute drive from my house. This gig is multi-purposed: learn about the business from the "backside," figure out if I want to actually try to open one myself, meet some people, have some fun and make some scratch while I'm at it. So far, it's been a totally satisfying and enjoyable endeavor. Plus, I get to wear jeans. And Asics. And, unlike Edelman, it's actually OK that my undergarments are always showing. Ah. My kind of career.
Capuvino. Though it started as a "joe joint," the owner is really trying to promote the wine business and make it into more of an evening destination. Capuvino. That suits my stizz just fine as pouring a glass of wine is about the easiest job in the service industry and - as requested - I'll be working mainly nights. The one somewhat irritating thing going on is that they have recently added an extensive menu of salads, sandwiches and "apps!" to complement the varied and extensive wine list. All well and good, but these can be rather difficult to deal with. Each has many ingredients and steps, and as we don't sell enough yet to have anything fully prepped, they can be dreadfully time-consuming during a rush. The kitchen is also about the size of my old one on 69th Street (similarly, there isn't even a dishwasher: machine or man) so, it's a bit of a hassle. Much like Ray Davies' personal trainer, the owner is trying to work out the Kink(s). And hell. I'll be in Argentina soon enough.
Pass the Johnny Cakes and the Malbec and click on through...
At Capuvino, your loyal staff members also serve speciality (read: liquer) coffees, four beers on tap (Fat Tire, 90 Schilling, Skinny Dip and Sunshine Wheat) and concoct about a thousand irritating syrup-infused lattes. As in the, "I'll have the banana coconut cream, half decaf, blended latte with rice milk and virgin blood," kind of deal. Eye of newt is $0.75 extra but really adds a delightful nutty flavor.
As far as promotion goes, we run a happy hour every night from 4:30 to 7 wherein every glass of wine from an open bottle is $5. Capuvino. There are customer loyalty cards (buy ten, get one free) for both coffee and wine, and there also are several private functions each week. So far, I've worked an art opening (there were caftans involved, and that's all I have to say about that.) and a bridal shower (reconfirming my notion that any woman who makes a man accompany her to one of these must, indeed, be removed from this mortal coil). Bridal shower mom - who done brung her own doilies to the event - nonetheless followed our owner's instructions and dutifully tipped us each $20 for our exhaustive gouda slicing and wine glass scrubbing. I thought I deserved more for having to listen to a conversation about market research in the tampon category, but...you know me, the dutiful serf. It's all very upstairs/downstairs.
Well. Maybe. Truth be told, brown muslin washes me out, so that's not even on the bartering table.
Capuvino. Is that not the worst name in history?
Moving on. Here's a quick summation of ten things I've learned staring at the barista vista over my counter:
1. The average restaurant mark-up on a bottle of wine is 300 percent. (Makes that corking fee look pretty reasonable, no? Makes the fact I just used the word "corking" look pretty impressive, no?)
2. Wine glasses without a lip are more expensive/higher quality/easier to bust than those with one. Take it from me, "Bleedy N*ely."
3. Colorado Two Rivers Riesling...not so shabby!
4. No customer I've served knows the first thing about wine.
5. I pour beer like a champ. A CHAMP!
6. The best job is one wherein you get to taste all of the wine you want...whenever you want. You know, to be able to talk about it intelligently.
7. When in doubt, use the phrase "medium-bodied."
8. Giving away one (1) percodan can turn even the most surly co-worker into your forever ally and BFF.
9. Men love to crap in public places.
10. I need some new, longer tank-tops. (Ladies: Old Navy's got your backcrack on this one. Love 'em!)
I've also learned a lot of things I won't be doing at any business in my future, which is probably more valuable than all of the above (excepting #8, of course). These are a bit more exhaustive to go into but include not serving cold cheese, not making employees wear ratty-looking aprons, having a full liquor license and forbidding people from looking over the counter to see if I'm wearing heels.
No, I'm not wearing heels you jackass.
Get out of my store.
Signed, your ever-loving proprietess,
Capuvino
Posted by Bree at May 10, 2006 08:04 AM