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May 09, 2006
CrackNamara's Corner
As far as toilet clogs and Mike McNa go, few experiences could trump when he was forced - by events out of his control - to visit the 68th St. Food Emporium one evening in search of two things: a plunger and a six-pack of Bud. He's a simple man, with a simple lust for a good time - and good plumbing. So to the clerk who pithily remarked, "Wild night, eh?" - let me answer in his stead and say, "Yes. Yes it was. And yes, by God, there were more in store..."
Lo:
There is possibly nothing more terrifying than standing in your bathroom over your toliet, depressing the plunger, and realizing that the water isn't draining, it's actually getting higher. You stare at it, transfixed, and for a few delicious seconds you actually think that you are going to be alright, that it's not going to go over the top. Why should it? It never has in the last 31 years of your life. Then the sinking pit of panic blossoms as the water begins to stream over the sides of the bowl at an alarming rate. You lunge one way for the plunger, but realize its too late for that. You dart the other way, throwing your only towel into the two-inch deep lake at your feet while sliding into the kitchen, trying to find a pot to empty the toliet into the bathtub before the ceiling of the apartment below collapses. Finally it stops and you are left with a sopping bath mat, a tragedy of a towel (which you were planning on bringing to Costa Rica), a woefully inadequate sautee pan-bailer and a home-made slip-n-slide where the kitchen floor used to be. Truly a terrible experience.
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UPDATE:
Because it's e-mails like this that make the toil of maintaining this weblog all so worthwhile...
From: Michael McNa
To: Briggles
Date: May 9, 2006 3:22 PM
Subject: Re: Urban Terror
Oh man you are so dead.
Posted by Bree at May 9, 2006 02:56 PM