When the DN took the stage, let's just say - for Heather's sake - that the lust stands. He's not perfect, but he's ours. And he was funny. Very, very funny. I mean this is a man who rhymes Kandahar with dance floor. Genius is perhaps an understatement. Perhaps. The best quote of the evening? After he mentioned taking a bong hit and the Boulder crowd (predictably) went ape, he said: "You people are monkeys...marijuana?!" Heelaire. He also sported Kung Fu sneakers and drank Bud. I can get behind that.

Anyway, the band rocked it. They are excellent. Their next album is going to be massively huge. As an added bonus, their drummer bore a disturbing resemblance to a guy I once dated - as in, I was kind of thinking it might be him. In which case, I'm not ashamed to admit, I totally would've gotten back in touch. (Then again, this is the same guy who I ran into on New Year's Day and didn't recognize for an awkwardly long time so...I wouldn't take my word for it.)

After their set, the next band - Living Things - came on. Wow. What a bunch of effete weirdos. As far as Mick Jagger goes, the lead singer went past homage into total impersonation. It was disturbing. Made all the more so by his turquoise-colored, skin-tight pant and vest ensemble and coral frilly tuxedo shirt. And his frail, Lindsay Lohan-esque physique. Which, in turn, was made ALL the more disturbing when he encouraged the crowd to "flash the peace sign" and "pray for the soldiers in Iraq" as he does "every night."

Uh huh.

Bold words for Boulder, dude!

But the best part, the most priceless part, the part that sprinkled sunshine over the whole evening, was when he took his shirt off, and pulled a totally nutso, equally shirtless, middle-aged black dude (who had been his own private dancer front and center and totally off-beat for the entire show) onto stage - hugged their naked chests together - and then said, "If you ask me...we're all racist."

Bear in mind, this audience member was the only non-white person at the show.
Oh awesome.

We left shortly thereafter. And though the Diamond Hots were out in the lobby, and I felt like I could've all had "super-cred" by casually mentioning my connection to their one-time opener The Giraffes, alas. I was sober. And they were surrounded by short little Boulderites in "funky" glasses, tight pants and white jazz shoes. Hmm. We sailed through.

Long entry short? Buy the album "Popsicle." Listen to tracks 2, 3, 6 and 9. A lot. At loud volumes. While lost in Denver. And you'll have my last few weeks in a nutshell. Mmm, popsicle in a nutshell. Still hungry, Eric?